Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star I wish upon to see your smile.

2011-05-20T14:46:00.002+08:00

I believe that in everything that we do, we always have a choice and it's always up to us to do something about it unless it's really way out of our hands. For example, if I'm studying in NUS and I felt that I would do better and be happier to study something else, I would have just changed course. Things like the government elections and all are not within our means.

I guess some people are just not strong enough to fight for what they think they deserve better. Or maybe they just don't know what they want.

But whatever it is, in whatever decision you make, you must be aware of all the possible consequences of your actions and be ready and fully prepared to accept the outcomes! Don't make a decision and then go around telling people that you regret, that you wish you could have chosen an alternative cos it just means that you didn't make a well-informed choice and you're just gonna cause everyone to end up in a confused state..

My thoughts on relationships: If I am together with guy A, there is still that risk of the both of us causing a heartbreak if any of us choose to leave for someone better. Until marriage, nothing is definite. And if I am attached yet can fall for someone else, say guy B, there's 2 things that I can do about it. The first is to ask myself if it's just a passing thing or just a temptation. If I know that it's temporary, then I would choose to kill off my feelings and remain faithful to A. However, the fact that I can fall for someone else means that I don't think that A is THE ONE for me and that there are several things that I am not satisfied with in our relationship. Because if he was really the one, I would feel that I won't be able to find someone else who can match up to him and who is as good as him and I would be happy and contented with A. If I can fall for B and think that I would be better off and more compatible with him, then I would leave A and get together with B.

Relationships are just so complex eh.

2011-02-14T21:31:00.001+08:00

Question to mull over: Do you fall in love when you're with someone or when you're not with someone?

Thanks Officer Chue for another nugget of wisdom :p

2011-01-06T10:28:00.003+08:00

I don't know when I will ever be ready again but I guess when the opportunity presents itself to me, I will be fully prepared and ever ready to embrace it.

The thought of it grips me with a little fear and apprehension. Do I have to repeat the same mistake and let down my guard, only to realise that I have been foolish and naive? And then sink bottom down again? Arrrggh.

The first 2 days of school have been pretty okay. It's just the mad rush from lesson to lesson because most of my lessons are back to back. And it's hard to instill passion for music in the boys because boys being boys, the only things on their mind are food and sports. I just cannot tolerate boys who are rude and disrespectful!!

2010-12-06T09:47:00.003+08:00

Only one person calls me "Michelle" in that really special way- "Mer- Shell". It can be rather hilarious but it's also affectionate.

I feel that I can be myself in front of you and not be self-conscious. And also wanting to be by your side always and wishing that time wouldn't pass so quickly.

I don't know how to sort out my feelings because there's always bound to be a grey area. But nonetheless, I really treasure your friendship alot at this point in time and I would never want anything to devastate this awesome bond between us both.

2010-12-04T11:45:00.001+08:00

I'm very much looking forward to London :)

2010-10-11T10:28:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday, I witnessed something that was rather moving. I was waiting at the control station for my friends and standing next to me was a man holding a bouquet of flowers. He was waiting rather serenely and I noticed that he was married.

A woman carrying a baby with a sling across her chest and pushing a baby pram with a sleeping child came through the gantry. A broad smile brightened her face upon seeing her husband, who was the man standing next to me. A look of genuine surprise flashed across her face and with tenderness, she accepted the bouquet of flowers from her husband. Despite being married for a few years (my speculation), her husband still bothered to pepper her life with little surprises to show his love and affection for his wife. She is one very lucky woman. The four of them moved off, the picture of perfect bliss. This little act of affection greatly touched me. Family. Love. Bliss. Something that I would definitely want to have when the time is right :)

2010-08-20T11:34:00.003+08:00

There's nothing like a hot cup of teh c to kickstart a day at work. I've been increasingly reliant on a cup of teh c to get me through the morning to fight off those tendencies to fall asleep.

A warm and fuzzy feeling comes over me when I reach the drinks stall at the coffeeshop and the people greet me with warm smiles and immediately make me a cup of teh c without me having to place my order because they remember me. A few of them came over to talk to me when I told them that it was my last day of work because I was going to enter the teaching workforce! A good thing my church is near this coffeeshop because at least they'll still remember me :p

I've been looking forward to this day for a really long time and I'm glad that it's finally here! Happy Friday and Hello Weekend! Plus Bye Bye Tiring Internship to kill time. And Hello badly needed 3 weeks of happy time and rest time!

These 3 weeks would consist of catching up on badly needed rest because I haven't had enough sleep for more than a month already, meetup with friends, church work and a short get away with my parents (which lets me soak up the short-lived joy of being an only child for those 3 days). EXCITED! :D

Really need to recharge and rejuvenate myself before entering the workforce officially :)

2010-08-17T17:16:00.002+08:00

I can't believe that a girl like you who is so terribly ugly and has such a bad character can have 4 boyfriends.

The world is such an unfair place to live in :(

2010-08-13T09:17:00.004+08:00

"I will always be your soulmate." -KW

It's comforting to know that some things will never change :)

2010-08-11T13:38:00.003+08:00

I think that I'm at the crossroads of my life- where I start questioning my identity, the purpose of my existence, what I'm meant to do etc.

Sometimes, I get so wrapped up in my thoughts that it does get overwhelming at times. But I do know that everything that has happened in the past few months have only helped to make me stronger as well as guide me along a certain direction :)

I've never met someone with so much warmth and love for others and God, it's truly admirable and also comforting to talk to such a person. It's my goal now to grow and develop as a Catholic.

A very lucky girl

2010-07-14T13:36:00.003+08:00

I feel that I'm a very lucky girl.

After all that has happened, I can see who my true friends are and who will really help me in times of need.

And it's funny because I also managed to reconnect with people and become closer to other people as well!

But yes! I'm glad that I've managed to nurture strong friendships with my friends, friends whom I can:

-confide in

-share my joys and sorrows with

-not be self-conscious in front of

-learn valuable life lessons from

and more importantly, who help me to discover more about myself, who appreciate me for who I am and who value me.

I can't stand people who only find me when they don't have anyone to accompany them and people who really trample on my self-worth and make me feel like crap.

Thus, I will surround myself with people who will make me feel happy about myself and about everything else and for those who don't, I'm staying far far away from you.

I also feel very lucky because I have many close friends to fall back on! I do know of people who have many friends but few close friends because they don't bother/ they don't want to build more meaningful/deeper friendships and it seems like with such people, they don't really care much about what you say, what's going on in your life but more like because they know you, they will just meet up with you once in awhile to see how you are etc. Such friends, I term as the "small-talk" friends. Haaaaa. So yes, I'm very very lucky :)

And also quite thankful that I'm dealing with things pretty well. I wouldn't want to do anything stupid because such actions might cause me great regret later and also, they won't provide any long time solutions.

To you, if you think that surrounding yourself with girls, dating etc helps you to get better, then errrm, so be it. I don't agree with your principles though. I think you're quite shallow and immatured and you seriously need to put more thought into your emotions. If you're not ok, then just say you're not! Stop trying to act all tough and happily speed dating etc when you're actually in a vulnerable state. And I think you're damn weird! I don't think there's anything wrong with having close friends of the opposite sex, and not everyone's like you, getting close to a girl only because he has other motives/ is romantically interested in a girl. And you're pot-calling the kettle black! You give other people pretty good advice but you don't follow your own advice. Annoying. Sometimes I wish I didn't know a person like you. Can't believe a person like you exists!!

2010-07-08T17:37:00.002+08:00

A rather rude encounter with 2 unpleasant Singaporeans.

The interns plus Van were at a food center during lunch today. And because it was peak hour, it was pretty crowded and we were waiting around 10 minutes to get a table. We managed to get a table that could fit 4 people. We saw 2 people sitting a table that could fit 6 people. So I decided to walk over and ask if they could switch tables with us. Those 2 people had just bought food and sat down. Here's how the conversation went:

" Hi, is there anyone else sitting at this table with you?"

"Oh yes, two of us plus one more person."

"Errm, since there's just the 3 of you, would you mind switching tables with us? (I then point at the table that can fit 4 people) That table can only fit 4 people but there's the 6 of us."

"We've already sat down and started eating. Troublesome to move."

At this point, I was flabbergasted by her reponse. So barking selfish and inconsiderate so I simply retorted back, "Well, I don't think you're being very nice." and walked away.

Terrible inconsiderate Singaporeans! It's people like you that give Singapore a bad name. I've been in a similar situation before and the people GRACIOUSLY swapped seats with me and my friends. ARRRGGHH what a way to spoil my day. Annoying. RAAAAAAAA.

2010-07-08T17:31:00.003+08:00

"Let go of the past, live the present and dream of the future."

Very well-said, this shall be my thought of the day :)

3 more days to my graduation ceremony! I'm finally getting prepped up about it! Previously, I told my parents that I wasn't keen to attend the ceremony and I got a big scolding. But now that the date is drawing nearer, I'm finally feeling excited and also, I realised that it is BIG a deal.

What does my graduation mean to me?

Firstly, having survived 6 semesters of Statistics. Something which I obviously didn't have the passion for, and didn't like very much. So graduation marks the determination and perserverance I had to pass every Stats module.

Secondly, it means moving onto a new phase of life. Rather daunting to finally be a fully fledged working adult. But if there's one thing that I look forward to, it has to be getting my own car one year after teaching!

Thirdly, it means getting the paper qualifications and completing a phase of education. I'm still not sure if I want to pursue further studies yet though.

2010-07-01T17:45:00.003+08:00

I've been constipated for the past 4 days because I've been going out after work and not eating fruits. Finally I'm not! Feeling super relieved now. Haha.

I'm coping well. Thanks everyone for asking :D I'm not 100% ok but I'm much better compared to how crappy and shitty I felt the past 3 weeks before the final showdown.

2010-06-29T11:10:00.003+08:00

For some unphantomed explanation, YOU appeared in my dream. YOU held me in your arms and comforted me greatly, and made me feel strong, safe and secure again.

It's so strange cos YOU were the most unexpected person I would dream of.

2010-06-29T10:54:00.003+08:00

The Voyage by Celtic Thunder

I am a sailor and you're my first mate
We signed on together, we coupled our fate
We hauled up our anchor determined not to fail
For the heart's treasure together we set sail

With no maps to guide us we steered our own course
We rode out the storms when the winds were gale force
We sat out the doldrums in patience and hope
Working together we learned how to cope

(Chorus)
Life is an ocean, love is a boat
In troubled waters it keeps us afloat
When we started our voyage
There was just me and you
Now gathered 'round us we have our own crew

Together we're in this relationship
We've built it with care to last the whole trip
Our true destination's not marked on any chart
We're navigating for the shores of the heart

I found this song after listening to a few songs by Celtic Thunder and it somehow touched me. This will be dedicated to YOU when I find YOU.

2010-06-29T10:53:00.000+08:00

The measure of a person is not how well she prepares for everything to go right, but how gracefully she stands up and moves on when everything goes wrong -Tintin

2010-06-24T09:23:00.004+08:00

"And inevitably, another picture shall take centre stage. You shall once again be mystified by its beauty, elegance and love. And you shall never be blamed. Because you were weak. You never once believed in the love that was once ours. Yet you trampled all over it like yesterday’s junk. Just because your heart was weak. Just because your heart was weak.

And inevitably, I shall give it away. I shall give your heart away."

-From the CF's blog.

Everyone has to go through a heartbreak at some point in their lives, and for those who never had to, you're damn damn lucky.

I almost cried when I read CF's blog, cos I could feel his pain, and I could relate to him as well. The feeling really sucks. But the best thing is to pick yourself up when you fall, and look forward to bigger things in life, just like the Paschal Mystery of Christ. How Jesus died for our sins, resurrected again and we all rejoice and celebrate. It's the whole process of picking ourselves up when we fall, that we become stronger and better people but of course, that process is never gonna be easy.

I think one of my strengths which can also be one of my flaws, would be that I use my heart too much over my head. And thus, I get too emotionally attached to people, I feel their pain alot and I emphathise with them and somehow, it affects me too. hmmmm.....so it's a good thing that I'm not a doctor.

2010-06-23T13:13:00.005+08:00

I should have never hung onto it.

I don't know what to believe, I don't know what I should trust, I don't know what to do with you.

2010-06-18T16:04:00.004+08:00

From Livia's Scandinvian Lit Class:

There is no concept of unified time,

time does not exisit.

In fact, we move at our own time and rhythm.

Einstein pointed out that the Indians actually understood the concept of time best.

Their language does not have a word for time.

The concepts of past and future do not exist.

They see time not as something linear, but as a circular space, where past, present and future co-exist side by side.

2010-06-17T15:18:00.001+08:00

"And sometimes you just have to let go and forget what it is you feel and just remember what you deserve. "

2010-06-15T10:53:00.004+08:00

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

I could really use a wish right now.

If only I could pretend that none of this happened, that it was just all a bad dream.

It was pouring cats and dogs when I got to work today and it's funny but I didn't feel as gloomy as I thought I ought to be. Though I felt that the rain did somehow represent how I felt at this point in time, I wanted it to wash away all the pain and sadness and everything else that has happened. And at the end of it all, let a rainbow appear (with happy carebears, haha!) and give me the strength to move on and look forward to the future.

2010-06-14T15:37:00.000+08:00

“A man who can love you at your worst is the only one who deserves you at your best”

Thanks dear pris, love you much :)

2010-06-11T11:47:00.003+08:00

Thanks Damian for sharing this with me:

Sometimes when you're young, everything feels like life and death. What the truth is, is that what you want isn't what someone else wants and forcing it in one direction or another can only lead to a bad end. So live free, you are the same person that you were before you met him, no need to pretend that you aren't.

2010-06-05T16:48:00.002+08:00

Miss P and I have been talking alot over HTHTs about BGRs and complicated situations, and one of them was this:

What if you were together with X but then things didn't work out with X so the both of you have remained as close friends but you liked X's good friend, Y who also likes you but doesn't know that you and X were together?

Would you want to cause a rift between X and Y? And then also potentially lose the friendship of X because he might feel bitter and awkward when you and Y get together and display affection in front of him?

Miss P and I found that either way, it's never going to be a win-win situation for all 3 people entangled in this. HAAAAAAAA.

2010-05-01T14:29:00.002+08:00

Dedicated to my dear friend, D :)

Because you were the first person I thought of when I heard this song, and I truly feel that this song represents one selling point of your character- your self confidence and knowing what you want and not afraid to be yourself :) Plus this song would be how your girl would feel towards you!

Naturally by Selena Gomez lyrics

How you choose to express yourself
It's all your own and I can tell
It comes naturally, it comes naturally

You follow what you feel inside
It's intuitive, you don't have to try
It comes naturally, mmmm it comes naturally

And it takes my breath away
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know it's meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

You have a way of moving me
A force of nature, your energy
It comes naturally (You know it does)
It comes naturally
Mmmm yeah

And it takes my breath away (Everytime)
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know it's meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

When we collide, sparks fly
When you look in my eyes, it takes my breath away

You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know it's meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby

2010-04-25T20:21:00.005+08:00

Somehow, turning 22 seems to be a bigger turning point for me as compared to turning 21. I still remember the feeling of exuberance and excitement when I was planning my 21st birthday party! And I couldn't wait to turn 21 because I was thrilled that I was going to be an adult and I would no longer have curfews. However, this year has been fraught with many life changing experiences. Taking on leadership roles and responsibilities in church, getting a job and the entire process of discerning and job seeking, getting my driving license, transiting from a student to a working adult and no longer having the freedom of a university student etc... It really hit me that I am going to be a fully fledged adult and this really scared me. I wonder whether I will be equipped adequately to deal with everything else that lies ahead.. haha.

Thanks to everyone who made my 22nd birthday a really memorable one for me :)

05s22 buddies

The boy.

Cous Wee!

The lovely tai-tais.

The tallest friend :)

2010-02-19T14:57:00.002+08:00

Nice people deserve happy endings, I concur that.

Well, Chinese New Year has been a good one for me and I think I'm really gonna live by the saying, "Out with the old, in with the new".

From today onwards, everything that I've known is going to change.

I'm truly thankful that at that point in time, you appeared and made me realise that there were some things that I had always thought I needed but actually I didn't. So yea.

2010-01-10T20:55:00.003+08:00

I had a really long HTHT with my Wee cousin about relationships and we agreed that one thing that would cause disputes would be this big thing called understanding. I guess it's learning to give and take, understanding how the other person feels by placing yourself in his shoes and not being quick to judge and put him down. Of course, understanding why and how a person would react in a situation is a result of knowing that person really well so yea!! We both think that there is so much to a relationship and to make it work. Haha.

Anyway, I'm one step closer to achieving my aspirations. 4 more steps and I would be done!!

And since the new year has started, these are the things I'm thankful for:

My parents- for all their love and taking care of me, especially when it comes to feeding me for meals and driving me around.

My eldest sis- for doting on me and watching out for me.

My second sis and brother- for the times of fun and laughter.

Bonnie and Livia- lifelong besties, for always keeping me grounded.

Kaiwei- my kor who has really been there for me through it all.

Alex- for the past 3 years of love.

Marie- for lots of invaluable advice.

Brandon- for being a sponge when i need to tell secrets to someone.

Melodi- dearest cousin who always lends me a listening ear.

Sheryl- the wee cousin for her lovely company.

Wang Rong- for being someone I can ramble to.

Yawen and Jen Jong- Clubbing Queen and King, for watching out for me (since I'm younger than them)

SSSM- providing lots of fun and for travelling with me to Indonesia.

Cheryl- for being my big sis and really taking care of me.

Samantha- for always being my xiaomei.

Nikita- for your sweetness.

Dillon- for always supporting me silently.

Vivien, Xiao Ting and Dency- marathon buddies and for the girly times when we want to relieve our tai-tai dreams.

Kelvin- for your encouragement and support.

Jessica- for the sms chats and for your love and care for me :)

Thanks for being a part of my life and I hope that we continue to build more beautiful memories, as well as write more chapters in my life story :) love you all much!

2009-11-30T14:37:00.003+08:00

如果我说爱我没有如果

错过就过你是不是会难过

若如果拿来当借口

那爱是不是有一点弱

如果我说爱我没有如果

真的爱我就放手一搏

还想什么还怕什么

快牵起我的手

有人说

世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死

而是我就站在你面前

你却不知道我爱你

我常说

如果人类连爱一个人都被自己绑住

那世界末日已来到

不需要等到地球毁灭掉的那天

2009-11-29T20:26:00.003+08:00

They say that dreams can be an accurate representation of your subconsciousness and yes, i truly agree with that. I had a dream that represented the way I felt about someone, and I felt so guilty when I woke up. HAA.

2009-11-29T20:25:00.007+08:00

I really like what Dillon says about the exams, that they should just be agents of socialisation! I guess it’s because I am just not suited to major in Statistics and thus, struggle with every exam that I’ve taken. Sigh. After each exam this semester, I emerge from the exam hall with disdain and pray that I don’t fail the exam and get a C in the final grades! Exams can be really so disgusting. Maybe it’s also the way that Statistics/ Mathemathics is taught in school, it’s taught in a too abstract way that only the really bright can understand, and we just do our math problems according to how we see the examples being down and thus, don’t really understand the fundamental concepts. Throw me a real life case and ask me to interpret it in terms of Statistics and I foresee myself fumbling and struggling to do so.

It’s quite daunting that I am going to graduate in less than half a year’s time and although it’s been something that I’ve been anticipating eagerly ever since I entered NUS, I still don’t really know what I should do. I already have a few plans in mind, but as to whether I can execute them, I really don’t know.

Anyway, I seldom watch television nowadays but there’s one show being shown on Ch 5 that I eagerly rush home to watch- Legend of the Seeker! I’m a sucker for fantasy show and this show is really awesome! Each episode just gets better and more exciting and the fighting sequences and backdrops are just simply brilliant.

I’m really glad that the exams are over, I can finally catch up on rest and get started on some things that were left untouched because of my exam preparations. It’s been a pretty exhausting week for me and I’m just feeling quite burnt out from having 5 exams back to back, so I really need the time to rest and relax. I’m glad to have had the support and encouragement from my friends during this period of time, with everyone encouraging each other, it just helps to spur me on!

I’m starting to want to detach myself from something because I’m starting to lose hope and trust in it. I thought that maybe things might be better now but the same problems keep resurfacing and I keep getting upset/feeling ignored and not reciprocated. I’m willing to compromise some things, to sacrifice and to prioritise but it doesn’t seem to be the case all the time on the other party. C was really such a disappointment, and now with W, it looks like it might be headed that way too.

I also wasn’t very impressed with O. Simply because I just felt quite self conscious and being a little stressed in his presence and not being able to talk freely as I can with my other friends. Sigh. He’s just too into himself and I wonder how to draw him out of that.

2009-11-14T23:30:00.003+08:00

Little Arian, you're growing up so nicely! And your little antics and cuteness never fails to make me laugh. Be it screaming for a really long time or just flipping your arms, you are just so cute. :) love you much!

2009-10-12T16:50:00.000+08:00

Full marks for a Stats mid-term exam. I'm still in shock because it's the first time I've done this well for any Stats-related test/exam! Oh well, I guess the test was not that difficult but I was worried because the lecuturer only looked at our final numerical answer and no working marks were given! So yea, I'm quite happy about this. However, for Stochastic, I just passed the test and my marks are slightly below average. SIGH....

2009-09-10T00:13:00.008+08:00

I just love meetups with my favourite Wee people. My Wednesday ended with a long Subway dinner with my favourite Wee cousin, Sheryl and we had a long chat over BGR stuff as well as sharing what we wanted to do in the future and laughing over hilarious people. It was a great catchup and it's amazing that we always have so much to tell each other whenever we meet up. I got my cousin a scarf from Cambodia, hers is a vibrant orange red scarf while mine's pink and don't we look so matching together! I really wanna go on a holiday with you soon, cousin! :)

We look like sisters based on the way we smile :)

Lunch at Fish at Tampines One kickstarted my Wednesday. The big sis and I decided to explore Tampines One and Tampines Mall since it's been getting lots of hype! So we decided to check out places that are not commonly found in places that we frequent.

I had Mediterranean fish for lunch.

Me posing with my food. Yummy! The fish was really good, too bad it didn't come with french fries.

My sister posing with her fish. Sorry sis! I forgot the name of your fish!

And we also had salad! Our main courses came with a salad bar option and we had lots of fun trying the different salads.

Then we walked around for awhile. We bought quite a few things from Uniqlo. I got really nice leggings from there! My sister also bought some cute stuff for Arian. Haha. Oh and I also bought 2 tank tops and a shirt dress from Cotton On at Tampines Mall and a pair of jeans from Giodarno.

Then it was on to tea at Tea Dot! Their iced machas are really good! We tried their banana chocolate cake as well as their Bailey cake. VERY YUMMY! Just that the service could have been much better.

What a great Wednesday :)

2009-08-25T10:59:00.000+08:00

This week has been much better for me. The first week of school has been pretty much a rollercoaster ride, with lots of ups and downs. Coupled with me not getting enough rest since my internship ended and returning home from my overseas holidays, it's been difficult getting used to the momentum of school and studying.

I think it's easy for me to get too emotionally attached to people and this is something that can drive me crazy. Maybe I think too much and maybe I'm viewing things far too seriously, but for now, I guess I'm just going to wait and see how things move on from this point onwards. I need an answer and a conclusion, if not I can't move on. SIGH. Why does life always have to be so complicated.

2009-08-11T00:31:00.003+08:00

There is always a first time for everything. And this summer break has had alot of first times for me!

-Attending a Cambodian child's 1st year old birthday party.
-Visiting Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
-Eating Ducks' Tongues.
-Eating ice-cream from Ryan and Jack's ice-cream shop.
-Visiting Bandung, Indonesia.
-Exploring a volcano.
-Riding an angkot in Bandung.
-Picking strawberries in a strawberry plantation.
-Watching a Wayang Golek performance
-My summer internship at Acorn
-Buying something at the airport DFS

and lots of other things have happened along the way.

2009-07-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

The bathrooms in my house are currently undergoing renovations because of some major water leaks so the entire family has to use the back toilet to bathe! It's been really quite unbearable because we have to bathe with pails and scoops! It's been like this for the past few days. This morning, I couldn't take it so I decided to use the estate's clubhouse bathing facilities and omg! It feels so good to be able to use the showerhead! Haha and I actually felt clean. Yea, I'm quite pampered and I always dread the showering part whenever I go for camps!!

I'm planning a surprise for someone and it's been so fun but tiring and at times stressful because I stay up late to settle such stuff. Oh well. I hope he/she will like whatever that is coming his/her way!!

And I'm quite disappointed in at least one person. And I've decided that enough is enough and I'm tired of me always having to intiate stuff so yup. And I wish that you at least tried to defend me when *** gunned me down.

2009-07-01T16:49:00.000+08:00

You're making me dislike you even more each day. RAAA.

2009-06-27T11:56:00.007+08:00

Sometimes, you think too much about things and that is why it weighs you down so much, you worry too much and you think about what should happen, what will happen, and then you go nuts over it. And it's not easy to pull yourself out of that but with lots of determination, you can do it!

I love nice chill out places, places in which you can have really good food, really nice music and just talk till late without worrying if you'll be chased out! dilly brought me to a place called "mango" on friday night and it's a good thing he drove cos it was so far away, a hidden gem in sembawang. haha. We had a really nice supper of house salad, garlic bread and soup, super crispy calamari rings, grilled salmon and topped off with a lovely brownie. And then it was on to some in depth heart to heart talk about relationships and life. And we both came to the conclusion while discussing one matter- it is weird for a 21 year old guy to date a 16 year old girl! My lips remain sealed from this point onwards.

Then there was a family dinner over the week to celebrate Dad's birthday, and I find it quite funny cos my parents were really pleased that I treated them to dinner and they were quite happy. It's funny how little things like that can make them so contented. Hmmmm. Too bad that we all can't eat as much as we were able to do so when we were younger! We had a lovely Jap buffet dinner at Curry Favour! Not a bad place though I wouldn't visit that place any time soon.

If you knew that you might get hurt in the end but you still want to go ahead and give it a shot so that you would have absolutely no regrets, would you still go ahead with something?

And what is love? What is commitment all about? Even if you get married and settle down, it doesn't mean that you have to remain commited to that person? Is it? It's pretty sad that most people think this way nowadays, which is why divorce rates are getting steeper.

And I really enjoyed my chats with my colleagues Damian and Pinaki on relationships. I'm an old-fashioned romantic at heart, and hearing their views about relationships, especially the practical part about it and how there really isn't a thing called "true love". hmmmm. it made me think even more. I like what Damian said about love- "Love is knowing that loving that person comes with all these problems and still choosing her/him."

And 2 more weeks till my girl comes back to me over the ocean.

2009-06-12T10:21:00.008+08:00

I had a really nice time with Ryan on Wednesday evening and I really appreciated the fact that he made time to meet up with me despite being really busy with the setting up of his business in Cambodia.

* the guy smiles reluctantly for the camera cos he remembers me poking fun of him when he wore a white top last week when he intended to go eat steamboat!

We went for a steamboat dinner at Golden Mile Complex and it was my first time eating a Thai steamboat dinner! I loved the yummy meat and vegetable soup base! Then off to Keppel Bay for some drinks (such a gorgeous place, OMG with all the rain drops infrastructure and it's a really nice chillout place), it was a really lovely place and then back home. :) he drove me to Geylang to show me the more notorious part of Geylang as well but too bad the Singapore police have cleaned up the area too much.

*so much food! yummy!!
* i don't believe uncle ryan's shy!

Ryan and I both agreed that we were both quite surprised that we could click with each other pretty fast and pretty easily, we both can keep talking and just enjoy each other's company, and I truly appreciate all his little nuggets of advice (which may sound a little silly at first but then I realise that it all actually makes sense) and how he shares with me many aspects of his life, and helps me to view things in a different light and also not to be too judgemental.

A funny thing that I discovered about Ryan- the way he walks- is by tiptoeing! that's why he always looks so carefree and happy whenever he walks! haha. and he never fails to surprise me everyday.

2009-06-09T16:23:00.003+08:00

My weekend has been really good!I went to Bugis Street and bought 80% of the stuff that was on my shopping list! Thanks Nico, for being such a great shopping buddy! And for making me laugh so much, that you made me laugh my appetite away!

We had dinner at Empire State, and the burgers were huge and really yummy! I managed to cut my burger into 16 pieces, and was quite amused by it. When Nico laughs, his face turns pink but he claims that his face still feels cool. He’s really such a riot. Some of our funny conversations:

“ Nico! Stop laughing at me laughing at you laughing at my burger!” => this left me confused for awhile.

*yummy burger!! very huge portion!

“ It’s your fault la!”

“ Yea, yea. Blame everything on me! Your hearing problem, your seeing problem and your speaking problem!”

“Uncle Koko Krunch!”

“Uncle Wee Wee!” => ERRMM since when am I a guy ah?

Then it was a late night supper with Von Von! Whee. Super fun catching up with her!

Saturday was ok! I got my tuition pay, then went home to rest and Nico fetched me to Ikea Tampines! That blur boy thought that we were on the TPE when we were actually on the PIE and we ended up being lost in Tampines for awhile. It was a good thing that we managed to find our way there eventually! YAY.

It’s my first time going to Ikea Tampines and it’s huge! Had a great meatball lunch with Nico.

And it’s great to find someone who can eat as slowly as me! Whee.

Then it was off to Ray’s house for a sleepover with SSSM. Played lots of Nintendo Wii, resulting in lots of laughter and arm aches. And we also celebrated Shawn’s birthday.

*Happy 23rd Birthday Shawn! Hope you like my present!

*Nintendo Wii's super fun to play!

Everyone else was pretty knocked out, I stayed up with SK to watch The Sniper and it wasn’t a very good show, I have to say. Only slept for 2 hours that day!!

Yup. I’m looking forward to the Bandung trip with SSSM! So exciting!

And I’ve made my decision already, it feels so good cos it feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I have to say that SK and Livia were instrumental in cementing my decision! Whee.

2009-06-05T11:04:00.001+08:00

It’s been 4 weeks into my internship here at Acorn, and I’ve definitely gained lots of invaluable experiences, such as attending high level meetings and taking notes for focus groups. Most of my colleagues here are much older than me, the youngest is 5 years older than me and most of them are already married! There’s also more females than males here. I’m seriously contemplating if this is something that I can do after graduation. Sigh. The responsibilities of being an adult!

Anyway, ever since work started, I’ve been really tired out easily. I actually look forward to going home and whenever I leave work, it’s with a heavy heart. Then I’ll play as much as I can during my weekends, and there’s also lots of church involvement as well. I wonder if there’ll ever be a day when I can just stay at home, and sleep a lot and just watch tv and relax!

I have my eye set on someone now but I won’t reveal who it is, until things have become more certain. I just hope that I can be more patient, and not so pushy. Because he is truly a great guy and a really nice one and I truly do enjoy his company. I’ll take more time to get to know him better. :) I wonder why relationships always have to be so complicated though!

It’s funny to see how my eldest sister has grown so much, since she got married and then now with a baby in the family, I’m really proud of her. From learning to cook( she only knew how to cook instant noodles previously), to doing household chores and now giving her newborn lots of tender loving care, it’s really heartwarming and she has definitely gone a long way. Of course, she never fails to continue looking out for me and taking care of me. And it’s great that my brother-in-law supports a lot of things that I do and also stands up for me whenever my parents shoot me down!

Maybe I am too demanding when it comes to relationships but I believe that when it comes to close friends, if something major happens, I feel that my friends should tell me about it. I got really upset when I found out that a close friend of mine got attached and we’ve been keeping in touch via facebook, and he didn’t bother to tell me about that until another friend sighted him. Sigh. I don’t know man.

2009-05-14T16:10:00.002+08:00

I would never want to be in any of the following situations:

1) to be in a one-sided relationship
2) to be in a relationship in which 2 people love each other so much but they can't be together because of physical incompatiblities and other external circumstances
3) people who mistake me as a salesperson when im browsing at a stall
4) to go clubbing and be hit on by a weirdo

and the list can go on for awhile, i guess. haha.

2009-04-24T22:40:00.002+08:00

I love you alot, Bonnie Oeni. It's nice knowing that I'm not alone, espeically with regards to my old-fashioned, sentimental perspectives on relationships in general.

I'll be brave and forge on! Knowing what lies ahead and how to deal with the situation when it happens. I loved our MSN conversation and I love you even more! You really know me so well, from the abyss of my heart to how I really feel and think etc. Thanks for always being there for me! And for being the person you are, always true to yourself and always putting others before you.

2009-04-14T22:46:00.001+08:00

4 more days to 21.

im really really excited!!

i prayed and the answer given was to give it more time. just as i thought that i had settled down and moved on, something happened to make me stop and think. sigh. troubled.

2009-04-02T09:37:00.002+08:00

Oh my gosh!! It's April already! Time really flies and I'm going to turn 21 in 16 days! Whee. The countdown begins. Haha. Anyway, I owe an apology to someone.

Dear Arian,

I'm sorry that I lost my cool and blew at your mother today. I felt really bad since she was carrying you in her womb and I expressed negative feelings towards you. Your mother was really kind and understanding towards me, which made me feel even worse. I know that you would turn out to be a strong and brave boy, so I'm sorry again for venting my frustrations on your mother.

With love
Michelle

2009-03-18T20:35:00.002+08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want you to know more about me!However, rules are meant to be broken and I'm going to tag more than 25 people!

Presenting 25 things about me, some which you may not know. Be prepared for a really really long read! I took a month to get this done and I hope you will have as much fun reading this as I had writing this!

1. Sleeping habits: When I was in upper Sec moving onto JC, I had a bad habit of needing to sleep with an eye mask. This habit persisted till the breakouts that I got from wearing those eye masks were really bad!! Then when I was in JC, I could not fall asleep unless I listened to music while sleeping. Nowadays, I can fall asleep quite easily, thankfully. Unfortunately, the random bouts of insomnia still hit me and nothing that I do can help me to fall asleep then.

2. Eating habits: I think I eat pretty slowly. There was once, I went out with my church friends Alex and Sean, and the both of them actually slowed down their eating speeds so that they would not feel so sian while waiting for me to finish eating my food! Or maybe I’m just slow by nature. I really love to shop a lot and retail therapy’s an effective way for me to deal with my stress. But I'm a slow shopper!Wang Rong’s a fantastic shopping buddy, a girl I got to know while working at UOB and we’ve been tight ever since then. I sometimes forget that she’s 2 years older than me! Haha. When I shop, I usually don’t buy things on impulse unless I really like it. I’ll walk around and look at different things, and if I’m thinking of an item that I saw previously, then it’s an indication that I should get it. I’m not brand conscious. In fact, most of the clothes and bags and shoes I own are not branded! I’m a budget shopper!! I would rather stretch my money and get as many things as possible rather than just one branded item.

3. I am quite clumsy in nature. Whenever I went rollerblading, I'll fall down at least once and that's why I have ugly knees. Thankfully the scars are fading away! I think that Kelvin makes a great rollerblading buddy too cos he’s my human rail support! Haha. Thanks Kel!! And there was once, I got on the shuttle bus in NUS and I banged my head against the ceiling. How embarrassing.

4. My chinese really, really sucks. My JC clique guys once asked me to stop speaking in Chinese and to switch to English at this one time. And sometimes, I can't understand what people say when they speak in Chinese and people would need to translate for me. LOL. And when I speak in Mandarin, people say that I have this weird accent! However, I’m proud to say that I got an A1 for O Level Chinese but a terrible C6 for AO Level Chinese.

5. Though my Chinese sucks, I still listen to Chinese music once in awhile. My friends would usually recommend me to listen to some songs and my tutition kid would bluetooth me the latest Mandopop songs. I am proud to say that since my secondary school days, I've been faithfully listening to F.I.R.'s songs and I know how to sing almost all of the songs! (pardon the bad pronounciation of words though!) I love F.I.R's music. They're awesome =) Oh and Josh Groban too. =) And I’m happy to say that I can appreciate almost all kinds of music!

6. I have a penpal called Jonathan and he’s the longest friend whom I’ve known. According to my memory, I was just 7 or 8 and at Melaka’s Century Mahkota Hotel’s swimming pool, when I saw this guy doing somersaults into the pool. I thought it was so cool so I went up to him and said, “Hi, my name is Michelle. I think it’s so cool you can do somersaults into the pool. Can I be your friend?” Or something along those lines. I’ve known Jonathan for 13 years and after our eagerly awaited reunion last year, I realised that his memory of how we became friends differed. His version was that I was sliding down the water slides, without realising that he had not reached the bottom yet and I ended up crashing into him.

7. I really love music and I really love to sing. CHIJ Secondary Choir really helped to shape me into the person who I am today, and along with it, my 2 best friends for life, Bonnie and Livia. Thanks dearies, for all that you’ve done for me! You guys would always be the No. 1s in my life. And I was really lucky to have a really lovely comm. to work with, and the super nice Nikita became another close friend =)

8. However, I chose not to join NJC’s choir because I was unable to adjust to the conductor’s different style as I was accustomed to Miss Jennifer Tham’s style, a really unique one. Being in NUS Catholic Students Society Music Ministry has also given me a wonderful group of friends, and from the bottom of my heart, I love you guys- Desmond, Jeremy, Nicholas, Yvonne and Jessica!

9. I was really nerdy and toot back in the IJ days. My belt on the pinafore would be positioned pretty high at the waist while most girls would wear them slightly above the waist. I also had pretty ugly spectacles that made me OMG so nerdy!! I was terrified of breaking the rules and was considered one of the super guai-kias in CHIJ!

10. However, it was National Junior College that I really changed a lot. Climbing over gates, climbing under gates, cutting class etc, I would never have done so back in Seconday School!! Plus I also ran for Student Council and it was such a stressful time. I reckon that if I was not a Student Councillor, I may have done better in my studies because I preferred to do council-related stuff rather than to study :/ And in my class, there were a lot of cliques but I’m glad to have a close friend like Dillon, whom I term as a golliwog (those black dolls in Enid Blyton books!) because he’s super tanned and people mistake him as a Malay when they first meet him! I think I really dislike the academic-related stuff back in NJC because it was so stressful and competitive! I’ve always wondered how I would have fared if I had gone to another JC!

11. And it was through NJC’s Student Council, that I became a Tai-Tai in training. I have no idea how the Tai-tai club started in my comm but Vivien, Dency and Xiaoting became my closest friends in council =) And we love doing girly stuff like shopping etc! And having really nice dinners! I also got to know Huiyang through council and though he was a year older than me, we’re still close friends. A unique atheist friend who always makes me reflect about my faith. And one who never fails to scold me just like an older brother, who always looks out for me.

12. In CHIJ, I was in the best class while in NJC, I was in one of the worst classes. 05s22 was the worst triple science class in our cohort. Everytime the Common Test results were flashed during our lectures, the lecturers never fail to say, “ 05s22! You’re at the bottom of the cohort again! You guys must buck up!” And I wonder why since we did put in the effort into our studies. However, I have 2 lovely juniors who are now firm friends with me from my class who thankfully, scored Alevel results better than the senior class. Well-done Shubha and Samantha, you girls really deserved the results you both got for the Alevels!

13. I love going for camps. The only thing I worry about would be the toilet facilities. Did I mention that I take a pretty long time to bathe as well? I need at least 20 minutes to shower! Hahahaha. And it was through the NUS Rover Freshmen Orientation Camp in 2007 that I met my closest circle of friends in NUS- Sarah, Shawn and Ser Kheng. They were the first group of close friends I made, and we’ve done pretty crazy stuff together, be it stealing a countdown sphere to doing funky jump shots! I love SSSM! This is a pretty cool clique! And we all share one thing in common, we all have short hair! And they were also the first group of friends that I had an overseas holiday with. My parents are really strict and it was really a miracle that they allowed me to go to Bintan with SSSM!

14. It was through Science Orientation Week that I got to know Kaiwei, a guy who’s a lot like me in the sense that his beliefs, values and thinking are aligned with me, and it’s so hard to find someone who’s as sentimental as me. I never thought that we would be such close friends but I’m glad that he’s someone I can have earnest heart-to-heart talks with. I also got to know Khoi Mun, an easy going guy who always reminds me to relax and chill whenever I feel the need to do so! And through CSS FOC 2008, I garnered a big sister in the form of Cheryl! Though she’s 2 years older than me, we can still click pretty well and so, thanks big sis, for everything that you’ve done for me! And it was through a church camp in 2006 that I got to know Alex, who’s been a special part of my life and through another camp in 2008, I got to know Shermaine, a pretty funky girl who’s 4 years older than me and someone I can flame and gossip with in church!

15. I actually learned German till the advanced level, ie all the way from level 1 to level 3. However, I regret to say that I don’t have the aptitude for languages and till now, I can only speak conversational German. Wasted!! It was through German 1, that I met a really friendly and cheerful girl and 3 semesters onwards, Sheryl and I are still pretty tight. Thanks for being such lovely company, my fellow cousin!! And did I mention that the 2 of us passed ourselves off as cousins in our southeast asian lectures?? Hahaha. We’re so naughty right. And it’s also in NUS that I met Yawen, a girl who also went for Math Clinic. Though we were not in the same major, we somehow ended up talking and became close after that. It’s funny how I make close friends in NUS quite randomly.

16. If there’s one thing I could change about myself, it would be my height. I’ve been one of the tallest girls in my secondary school class since sec 3 and subsequently, the tallest girl in my JC class and then one of the tallest girls here at NUS Science. My ideal height would be 1.68m tall! And I only own a pair of heels (for work/interviews/formal events), if not you’ll see me ALWAYS IN FLATS because I don’t want to tower over everyone else! And because of my height, I tend to stand out in a crowd, enabling people to recognise me easily. And wherever I go, I get stared at. SIGHS! My tallest guy friend is Jen Jong, who stands at 1.83m and probably the only person I wouldn’t mind wearing heels when we go out together!

17. I have an extended family which consists of a xiaomei,(sam eng!),a xiaodi (brandon! Who’s really so cute and funny and nice to talk to) and a big sister!(cheryl!) Whee. If only we were really related by blood. That would be so nice!! The cousin I’m closest to has to be Butterdi aka Melodi who’s my Little Miss Sunshine!

18. I am a really absent-minded person, I carry post-its around with me and write down reminders on what I need to do, if not I would really forget. For instance, if I am printing my documents in school, I’ll actually write down what I need to print, if not I might not print everything that I need to do so! I even use the post-its functions in my handphone for reminders as well!! And I can be blur at times. There was once, I woke up early to do a Stats tutorial and I had that tutorial on that day, and guess what, I forgot to bring my worked solutions to school and it was such a tedious tutorial!!

19. I am a frank person and always speak my mind. However, sometimes, I can be too frank and that can be a flaw. For instance, if I’m not happy with something, I’ll voice it out immediately.

20. Being an old-fashioned romantic at heart, I don’t believe in love at first sight. How can one just like someone whom he doesn’t know at all, based on that person’s looks and the “Gut feeling” that he has? I really don’t think this can happen in real life. Anyway, Korean drama serials are so nice to watch and I really love Princess Hours and My Girl. However, I don’t think that my love life would be that juicy and dramatic as the ones shown in such dramas.

21. My favourite colour is pink. I’ve liked pink ever since I watched the very first version of Power Rangers. The Pink Ranger was just so cool and so girly and ever since then, my favourite colour is pink. Most people are quite amused when they see the contents of my bag because I always carry my pink shawl, my pink wallet ,my pink handphone wallet and my pink Billabong pencil case around with me. My umbrella and water bottle are not pink though! I think the versions of Power Rangers really suck right now. And did I mention that I love Carebears too? I have a pink carebear with me right now! “Carebear Stare!!” Anyway, I used to have a teddy bear which I called Marsha when I was in Primary school, and I would dress her up with shirts and my PE shorts. One day, I came back from school and found out that my mum threw her away because she was tattered and I cried. I still miss Marsha today! And I really love teddy bears too!!

22. My nicknames are quite varied. Most of my friends call me Mich (pronounced as Mitch), with the exception of some calling me “Meesh” (*ahem guys in MM comm.), to “Wee Wee!” (*ahem Von Von!) to “Michy Mich (darling XT, you’re the only one to call me this!) to funny ones like “dude”. Hey, I’m a girl ok! And the funky ones like “AGOGO” by Darryl Song (cos he finds me quite retro) to “Miss Clarity” (cos people think that I resemble the Miss Clarity girl at that café cos of my love for pink.

23. Being a sentimental person, I really love to write letters, cards and make stuff for my friends. One of the best things I’ve made has to be a noticeboard for Sean as his Xmas present last year. (you’re damn lucky, sean!) as well as journals filled with entries for Nikita, Bonnie, Livia and Samantha as farewell presents when they went overseas to study.

24. I have such a sweet tooth, I wonder why my teeth have not rotted yet. I really love desserts. Brownies, Cakes, Waffles, Ice-cream, Pies etc. You name anything sweet, I’ll eat it! I love places like Dome, Gelare, Secret Recipe, Changing Appetities etc. I’ll choose to eat desserts as main courses anytime man.

25. Ever since I graduated from NJC in 2006, my hair has never been black. I’ve been dyeing it brown constantly. And I was a hair model for Toni and Guy in 2008. I helped out at a student’s varderer presentation, which I had a really nice bob in a red-wine colour, and for the second show which Toni and Guy presented their Flux collection, the top layer of my hair was bleached brown and the bottom was brown and red, causing Desmond to call me “Chocolate Girl with edible hair!” And I had hair extensions put in. OMG I looked like some Manga/Anime-inspired girl. So not me. I really hated how my hair looked like after the hair show and I was quite upset, cos my hair got cut really short and there were 3 colours in my hair. I looked so ugly then. I’m thankful my hair’s much better and less damaged now. My new year’s resolution for this year: Not to get anything done to my hair and to let it grow longer.

2009-03-05T23:54:00.002+08:00

OMG. Why did I not feel the stress during the recess week??

Arrggh. It's 6 more weeks till the end of the semester, which means I only have that much time to finish 3 essays. And then there's the church events coming up which means 2 Saturdays are going to be burnt.

Plus I still need to spend time with my friends if not I'll just be a hermit. Unlike someone I know, I will not put myself into self-isolation and ignore my friends. But at the same time, I know I have to allocate more time to my studies. HAA.

STRESS.

On a lighter note, I'm glad to have planned earlier for my 21st birthday. Alot of things settled already. YAY!! =)

2009-02-20T16:14:00.002+08:00

WHAT AN ASSHOLE, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE.

Even if you're good looking, charismatic and charming etc, you don't have to flaunt it so brazenly. Ever heard of a thing called humility? I have no idea why people flock to you as you say so, cos I'm definitely repelled by you. And what an ego you have! I'm sure so many people probably don't tell you off and accept whatever you say, but not me, man. I'm glad I told you what I felt honestly.

Firstly, I don't think it was very nice of you to exclude me from your conversation with my friend. I mean, yea, it's the first time that you've met me so of course, you don't really know me very well but isn't it polite to talk to me too? Furthermore, you're the one who gate-crashed my breakfast thingee with my friend. And secondly, is it that difficult to remember my name? Honestly, I don't think it is cos my name is such a common name and you don't have to be sarcastic and link my name to Michelle Obama. I was so turned off when you turned to me, halfway through your conversation with my friend and asked me for my name since you don't remember it.

Thirdly, it's so ironic that you've asked me for advice. I'll never forget what you said to me, " Oh, you know, usually when I meet people for the first time, I'll end up talking alot, even if it's one to one or me against a group of people? Sometimes, it may come across as being quite overbearing? Do you have any advice for me?"

Well, firstly, dude (you're such an ASS), and secondly, I applaud you for acknowledging that you're overbearing at times. Yes, it's okay to talk alot but come on! Conversations are meant to be a two-way thing! You must engage the other party as well and not dominate the conversation!! This shows me how self-centered, superficial, egoisitic and shallow you are.

It's really the first time that I've not talked cos usually I'm quite a chatty person. It's just my day to have met an ass like you.

I am so glad that the friendships that I have with my friends are not shallow, they're with sincerity and love and concern and most importantly, DEPTH. ARRGGHH. What an ass, seriously.

2009-02-06T16:44:00.003+08:00

Quite a number of people have asked me to put up my wish list, so here goes!!

My wishlist:

PLEASE DO NOT GET ME THE FOLLOWING ITEMS:
1. Anything that is perishable, ie food stuff etc cos it's stuff that I can't keep!! Alcohol is ok though!
2. Soft toys except teddy bears but I might not have enough space to store it at home!
3. Makeup! cos i already have what i need!
4. Funny kinky stuff to signify me turning 21!! like condoms, sex toys etc. im a good innocent girl ok!!
5. Jewellery! I think that I have enough too!!

STUFF THAT I REALLY REALLY WANT:
1. Korean Drama Serial: Robber of my heart
2. I have the 1st book in the Eragon series, I'd really like to complete the collection with the Eldest and Brisingr books (the 2nd and 3rd book respectively in the series)
3. The entire Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer
4. Disney Princess stuff like mugs and bedsheets and files and stickers and photo albums (my favourite princess is the sleeping beauty, ie princess aurora!, and my bed is single sized)
5. White handbag, big enough to carry to school and can match all kinds of outfits! (I really love white stuff!!)

That's about it!! I would greatly appreciate birthday cards because I am a sentimetal sort of person. Anything pink, girly, practical, thoughtful, I'll appreciate too. You guys should know the kind of stuff I like, so yup! Thanks in advance for your presents!!

2009-01-23T11:23:00.006+08:00

It's been a tiring week, trying to meet deadlines, catching my buses on time and praying that I'll reach school on time, clearing up miscommunications with parents and A, getting to know T better, going through a spectrum of emotions and yea. Luckily my week is capped off nicely with a trip to Malaysia, where my family will spend CNY there.

Hmmmmm. Intrigue. Caution. These are the 2 emotions that I've been feeling alot these days. There's more than what meets the eye.

And I got super pissed while out with a group of friends, which led to me making the decision not to follow them overseas during my summer vacation, I'd rather go overseas with a group of closer friends lor, whom I can also have fun with.

Which brings back to the discussion that me and Sarah had while on the way home.
"Is it ever possible to be in a relationship where the guy loves you but you don't love him?" Cos we do see this kinda situations happening and we also wonder if it's possible for feelings to grow. HMMMMM.

And with regards to you, aiya, I always thought that there was something going on with A but you always keep denying it till now. HMMMMM..

Thanks Dill for the encouragement, and thanks Sarah, for the great catch up session, it's nice knowing that you're also going to put in effort to keep in touch with me=) And thanks Sheryl! For guiding me through the Southeast Asian modules if not I'll be really blur! haha.

And lastly, I was really impressed by Khoi Mun's intuition! Cos I was supposed to meet him for lunch today at 1pm at the Arts canteen, and I told him that I was killing time at the Science library, and I was going to leave the library at 12.45pm to get to Arts on time when he found me at the library. He took the chance man! But I was so impressed cos my handphone died on me and I was uncontactable and he guessed that I was still at Science! =) Thanks for a fun lunch session today =)

2009-01-18T18:28:00.002+08:00

I am quite happy that I've managed to meet up with almost everyone during the holidays and even during school term! =)

Thanks for your lovely company, big sis!! =) it was a nice catch up with you, eating Subway and walking and chatting from YIH to Arts =) Hope to swim with you one day! And thanks for your help for my MM stuff!

I also had alot of fun bonding with the MM comm, cos we had dinner together, and I think they were really amused that I was quite an open person. In school, we all wanted to take a photo together with the PnW team, so since we were having so much difficulty doing a self-take photo, I just approached 2 people who were walking in our direction and as Von said, I literally pounced on the 2 poor chaps. Oops. Too over enthu. Then at dinner, the 6 of us wanted to sit together but at the food center, we only managed to find a table for 4. So once again, I approached 2 people sitting at a table for 6 and asked them really nicely to change places with us and to my surprise, they really did! haha. Had a really nice time chatting with the 5 of them at the playground, it was the first time this year I got home at 2am! haha. LOVE YOU guys alot!! And the guys are really protective. haha.

Anyway more serious stuff aside. Hmmmmm a few people know this already, but after that gesture, my heart became softer towards that person cos it was such a sweet gesture. aRRGGH. But I think nothing will happen la.

With regards to the 4th random one, well, I have to say it's been the most pleasant one so far though it's really kinda funny (and questionable) on how we became friends. And it'll just remain like that for now. Cos I don't want things to happen without sincerity and for the wrong reasons. Haa.

2009-01-06T15:14:00.004+08:00

I was rather amused too, by how our night cycling activity turned up. Everyone thought that the bicycle kiosks closed by 1030pm so the 4 of us turned up at 9plus and ended up walking a super long stretch of East Coast Park from Macs till the food center and we had a pretty ok supper, with too bland hokkien mee, too dry chicken wings, and too dry maggi goreng. Me and SK were happily eating up our fried oysters though, and had a really cute argument about the difference between fried oysters and oyster eggs. Our next meet up is on Thurs and our attempt at a successful night cycling trip would be carried out again. LOL.

Here's the gang looking all fired up and ready to cycle!

Well, I think that you're being too sensitive, and I hardly know you, so I don't think you have the right to tell me how I should treat my friends or spend my time with them. Isn't it normal to prioritise my free time for my closer friends, and for people whom I am not close to yet, but want to get to know them better, of course they would be another priority, which DOES NOT INCLUDE YOU.

2009-01-04T21:13:00.005+08:00

What a lovely way to start the new year 2009, by watching the much-hyped about musical, Cinderella, taking photos with the main leads and a bonus, taking a photo with Jeanette Aw too! The star of Little Nyonya, unfortunately, I was too star-struck to tell her that I really loved the show. ARRGGH, blur me.

With Lea Salonga and Peter Saide, the Cinderella and Prince in the musical!

And with Jeanette Aw!! A lovely surprise to see her after the musical!

And the birthday celebrations start, Happy 21st Birthday to Bonnie! I really had fun dressing up as a witch for your party! Hope you had fun too!!

And Happy Belated 21st Birthday to you, Uncle Yangz!!

2009-01-01T16:04:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR Livia!!

So happy that I got to countdown with you for the new year, Vancouver time =)

To start the year with someone that means so much to me, it's just simply GREAT. Love ya always!

2008-12-28T23:52:00.007+08:00

To my parents, congratulations on celebrating your 24th wedding anniversary today and thanks for including the kids for lunch at Long Steakhouse at Raffles Hotel! Another chance to dress up =) I decided to wear a little black dress along with makeup =)

Here's a toast!! The lunch starts with us downing white wine. lol.

And we start off with the appetizer: foie gras! it's my first time eating it and it taste well..really unique!!

Then it's clam chowder soup, and the yummy main course- tenderloin steak!!

And we end off with dessert of raspberry tarts and ice-cream and other random photo takings =)

My brother finally agrees to pose with my dad though rather reluctantly. lol. a super good lunch that left me feeling really full and sleepy for the rest of the day. lol.

2008-12-26T12:15:00.004+08:00

I think that this Christmas has truly been a great one for me, to be able to spend time with those close to me. There's the early Christmas celebration on 23 Dec with WR, where we cam-whored alot and acted like tourists in our own country, then an outing with the mentee, Shermaine, where we watched Australia and took neoprints and then went for the midnight mass at our church together on Xmas Eve, the gift exhanges with the church clique, the choir party, gift exchange with Kaiwei on Xmas itself over breakfast, the xmas party at my sis' place over lunch and a crazy, most memorable celebration with my tightest circle of uni friends, SSSM!!

Gift exchange with Alex, Sean and Brandon =)

Gift exchange with Kaiwei

2008-12-26T12:11:00.002+08:00

It was cool to be able to finally meet up with my penpal, Jonathan, the friend whom I've known for almost 13 years, and that's the longest friend whom I've known!!

It was really nice to meet you after so long, and it's quite funny how our memories of how we met each other differ. Hmmm but yea, in those 13 years, we really did grow up quite a bit and look really different! Thanks for spending time with me, even to the extent of taking leave and driving me all the way back to the hotel. I truly did enjoy the movie and dinner at TGI Fridays with you =) Friends forever yea! =)

2008-12-10T09:50:00.003+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday to Kaiwei!! I really had alot of fun celebrating with you your birthday =) Can't believe that we talked non-stop for 5 hours plus. Haha.

The birthday boy being super amused by the many layers of wrapping papers that he has to unwrap, and I had to supress my laughter as he continued guessing what his present was. Which wasn't a kinky one!!

Looking really tired after talking for so long. haha.

But yea, it's nice knowing that this close friend of mine is someone who is really honest with me, and not hesitant to say anything straight to my face. I really appreciate his sincerity and honesty. And ah. It's so nice to have someone who can really connect with me on such a deep level, I truly enjoy talking to this friend. As what KW would say, it's fate that brought us to be friends. =)

2008-12-02T10:32:00.000+08:00

ARRGGHH I was really so stupid and naive last time!! I kinda regret some things that I did now, and the more I think about it, the more repulsed I feel. ARRGHHH!

2008-11-29T18:10:00.002+08:00

Something funny happened yesterday, which left me and my eldest sis pretty tickled.

I was at MACs at Great World City, buying something for my sis and was waiting for my order when this guy who's standing behind me, turns to me and asks, " Hi! Are you from NUS?"
And this really left me feeling really stunned cos I have totally no idea who he was..and this is the rest of our conversation.

" ERRMMM. Yes, Im from NUS. Do I know you?"
" I recognise you from the Science Library! I frequent the library pretty often."
I give a very laboured "HAHA" of which he said that he recognised me cos of my height.
Hmmm. Then we went on to make small talk and exchanged names and handshakes. But I thought the whole situation was just so weird. LOL.

2008-11-09T21:01:00.003+08:00

michelle misses her bob already.
cos her new haircut is now a tier instead of a classic bob.
and the hairstylist wasn't as good as the varderer mel.
and he needed alot of prompting from the master hairstylist.
thus resulting in her wasting an additional2 hours.when she only allocated 1.5 hours for the haircut.

and michelle is feeling really tired.
because of the deadlines to meet.
the projects to rush out.
the german test to study for,
and not being able to catch up with tutorials.
just increases the stress.

and she just had another disagreement with a friend.
over the same issues.

the only thing that brightened her day.
a letter from andre, thanking her for being his CCD teacher.
awwww......

2008-11-02T22:24:00.003+08:00

Stressed with meeting deadlines, projects, assignments and the upcoming exams!! I definitely need to start my exams revision, it's a struggle now to even complete tutorials and just understand what I'm learning.

I've managed to climb over a gate in church while wearing a mini skirt! I learned something new last Friday. Haha.

Mass today was really good, we had 2 priests from Sydney and they were really warm and friendly and definitely much more approachable compared to our own parish priests. Homily was good too, and it kinda hit me that I should strive towards perfection in everything that I do.

HMMMM, I hate flippant attitudes, and I hate it when the people I think I can rely on turn out to be unreliable in the end.

2008-10-31T12:41:00.001+08:00

I hate it when plans have been made and then people just change them at their own convenience and at others' inconvenience.

2008-10-27T00:15:00.004+08:00

It was really exciting as it was my first time being a model for a Toni and Guy's hairshow. It wasn't a really big event, more like an internal event in which a hairdresser, Mel had a presentation of 12 models, all with different hairstyles which would be judged by the academy to determine if she could become a more accomplished hairdresser.

We all had to report to the academy to get our hair touched up as well as to apply makeup. I really felt like one of those runway models when my hair and makeup were fussed over.

C.K and I were the only 2 models with classic bobs as well as panda make-up!

With the team that did my make-up!

Then I chatted randomly with a lovel girl called Liwen and we took quite a number of photos together. I think that she's really pretty! Quite model material. Haha. Here's a shot with our hairdresser, Mel! I really do hope that she will pass her final assessment! She was so stressed throughout the entire show and was in the studios working on all her models for almost 9 hours straight!

I was pretty nervous because we had to do a catwalk! But luckily Ginger came to the rescue! She taught us to strut our stuff, and as quoted by the woman herself, " Just be bitches! Walk like you own the world, that you're so IT that's why you're up here modelling!!" And she really was just so OOMMMPPPHHH. It was pretty clear that she really loved what she was doing, coordinating these kinda shows as well as being a pretty good makeup artist! She was behind the makeup schemes for today's hairshow as well as for other shows!

I think I did an okay job for the catwalk but I could feel my heart thumping when it was my turn to take the stage and though we were told to take our time, I felt like it was one of the longest times ever!! haha.

but overall, a pretty good experience!

2008-10-20T14:04:00.002+08:00

Thinking of my 21st birthday makes me happy.

Hanging out with SSSM over the weekend, and truly just enjoying their company really made me so so happy.

Knowing how we have all grown from ugly ducklings to swans as we grow older really brought back alot of fond memories.

Hanging out with my bestie and racing him and being childish makes me happy.

Doing each tutorial for 4 straight hours and then realising that I don't really understand what I am doing, makes me depressed.

Knowing that a new responsibility awaits me next year makes me really hopeful and happy, and I really can't wait!! I'll be a good one when the time comes!

Reading an email from my xiaomei caused me to be on the brink of tears, I really really miss her alot.

And that's basically a summary of the otherwise ok weekend!

2008-10-04T21:23:00.002+08:00

It has indeed been a really stressful week, amid all the studying done for the mid-terms, finishing tutorials and assignments etc. I feel like I have not gone out for such a long time. Arrghh. One more week till the end of exams round 1. Which I'll celebrate with the JC clique over badminton and just chilling out.

I am SO SO HAPPY for you, my dear girl!! Whee. Thanks for telling me the good news. =) Can't wait to see you at the wedding when you get back, I miss you lots.

This week, I have been highly amused by the SOW OG, ie Soon Ae! But it was nice catching up with them this week. Lunch with some of the chem people and a long chat with Kaiwei on Tues, talking to Sunny while on my way to tuitiopn after school, lunch again with the chem people on Thurs and a stoning/chitchat session with Terence on Thurs, and studying with Zhiwei in the library on Friday. It's nice to see that the OG is still so close despite the end of SOW and the fact that everyone's majors are different. And alot of scandals going on, eh.

I was highly amused by Zhiwei.
Z: "Eh. Michelle. Why you dress so nice ah? You are from science lei. No need to dress so nice de."
Me:"Huh? But I just wear what I want to wear what. And there are also days in which I just wear shirt and shorts to school lor."
Z:"Aiya. For girls, only their face important. No point face not nice and they dress up."
At which, I was trying not to laugh.
Z: "Eh. My eyelid keep twitching lei. Die la. I worried."
Me:" Ok ok relax, you can use my laptop and google eyelid twitch."
After which the boy felt relieved when he read that it was a good sign that his eyelid was twitching.

Funny part came when he left to sit for his SS midterm.
Z:"Bye michelle! I go off lei. Don't miss me hor."
After which he gave his flirty wink, and said, "I know I'll miss you de!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I couldn't stop laughing. But that definitely made my week memorable =)

2008-09-27T14:08:00.007+08:00

It has indeed been quite some time since I last went back to Waraku to eat, and visiting the new outlet at Heeren really brought back a wave of memories.

It's funny how you bury alot of memories and then something triggers the flood of memories though my memories are pretty hazy right now.

I really really miss the people, especially the manager friend. It felt so good to be back =) And to see quite a few familar faces like Adelena and Ahmad.

Dinner with my fellow jap food lover friend- Bonnie!! We did not order that much food but it was enough to make us really full. Thanks to Kok Hong for the personalised service and desserts =) We felt really privileged. I am definitely going back for more =)

OKONOMIYAKI pizza- something new that Waraku added to its menu. Quite a number of changes have been made to their menu. Good thing that stuff like the value for money set meals and yummy stuff like Tonpeiyaki are still being sold =)

I am quite blessed to have been able to spend enough time with the besties when they were in Singapore over their summer break, though it resulted in me drifting from quite a number of people since the limited amount of time that I allocated for leisure was prioritised for them. OOPS. But I promise to manage my time and resources better, so that I can go out more. Last month was horrible, I really had to watch what I spend =x

2008-09-15T14:14:00.004+08:00

It's really been that long since I last blogged huh. Time is something that I really need to learn how to fully utilise and manage without burning myself out but yea, it's really quite a struggle to juggle time to spend with family, friends, studies, church work and cca =( I think alot of my friends have not met up with me for a really long time but I promise to make time for you all when I have free time. For now, the priority will be on the friends closer to me.

And things are getting better for me on the school side. I don't know why I took so long to settle down but yea, I guess it's because of all my insecurities ba.

I am really tired and annoyed at being the one to always intitate things such as meet ups etc. haa, im just so tired la..why can't the other people be the ones to try this time round.

And to P, good luck! Think carefully, I don't want you to get hurt again especially since it has taken you so much to move on with life...

And I agree with Gloria's latest post.

"this is how a human mind works.stage 1.one day, you talk to this person.the more you talk, the more emo you get.and you guys end up sharing your deepest secrets w each other.you assume that this person is your good fren (on the basis that you have told that person abt your everything), and a very false sense of security.stage 2.hangs out tgt all the time even tho you hardly know each other.stage 3.then theres this day, you find out that the other person is not as nice as you thot so and you finally complain that your "good fren" has betrayed or backstabbed you.but the fact is, you have a very wrong concept of a good fren to start with.and youve only got yourself to blame.you are in stage 2.and that is how superficial your friendships are."

at the end of the day, i guess it's the people whom have been through the ups and downs of life with you, who can really accept you for who you are and who know you really well from the inside, who can understand the way you react to situations etc..these are the people whom I'll always cherish cos they've experienced life with me and have journeyed with me, and these are my besties. i guess friendships can't just be built within a day and it's also the chemistry that you have with a person, how well you can click with the person that will help you and that person to be good friends.

2008-08-30T16:29:00.001+08:00

I am really not suited to Statistics. Sigh. If I could turn back time, I would have thought over my course options properly and not choose this course.

2008-08-22T15:11:00.004+08:00

I just don't feel like studying anymore. Sometimes I wonder, if the course I am doing right now is really suited to me, cos if it was, I should not be struggling that much. Oh well, I guess I just have to grit my teeth, do my best and hope for the best and of course, to graduate asap.

This semester seems really quite heavy for me, and I have decided that all my free time will go towards my studies, and I am only allowed to go out once a week. One thing to look forward to though, would be MM work. I think the 6 of us would make a really brillant team to work with, especially since we already have alot of chemistry between all of us.

And I had a really good long talk with K and later in the week, with A. I guess for now, I'll just let time make everything better, and I really do hope that I can resolve the issues that I have with Y. I think we have alot of misunderstandings and it's probably hard to face each other now.

2008-08-15T17:09:00.003+08:00

Well. Time can't make everything better.

And I didn't know that the "Dark Days" as termed by my parents were so bad, so horrible that they never want to talk about it and that they're so prudent with everything nowadays. sigh. I should appreciate them more because they really sacrificed so much.

And I worry about the sexuality of A. Hope it's not our worst fears come true.

And with people who really can't understand what I say or feel, I guess it's because you're on a different wavelength from me. It's so tiring to keep trying and for now, it's just going to be, " let time make things get better and so be it. whatever."

Thanks to the big sister for a wonderful dinner at mezza9. =) it's something that cheered up an extremely traumatising week at school.

Why aren't my close friends in Science majoring in the same subject as me! =(

2008-08-08T22:29:00.003+08:00

It feels like ages since I last blogged so I’ll do just a short entry here. Science Orientation Week has just ended yesterday after what seemed like a month plus worth of preparation work to do etc. And I have to say that having headed a FOC before, I disagree with the way things were done during this camp and that things could have been much better. The freshies’ welfare weren’t really taken into account and I was quite worried about my OG. A good thing that my OG is like minded and thinks the same way as I do, which made things much easier when we didn’t want to do some stuff.

Soon-Ae rocks! I am really proud of this OG because all the freshies were ok with each other and nobody was left out or ostracized. And I think we have the best looking bunch of guys in the OG! Woohoo!! And we’re quite happening cos we’ve arranged for quite a number of OG outings already and it’s nice to see that this OG is quite bonded. And my OG had full strength whenever it was possible for all the orientation activities. Im really proud of them cos some of the freshies really made the effort to come down for the activities despite the inconvenience or how tired they really felt.

I am really glad that the weekend is here, not only do I get to catch up on my rest, but life goes back to normal. Time to meet up with friends!! =)

2008-07-26T15:20:00.001+08:00

It was a great meet up with the SPECIAL FRIEND yesterday, and I was truly happy to see him. Kudos to my Café Cartel Brownie Buddy!! But yea, it was a great comfort just sitting down and eating brownies and just catching up. I was also really happy to see him opening up more and being more active. Thanks again for driving me home!! I think I am just so lucky to have friends who pamper me. Haha.

And to Sheryl! My MOS Burger Girlfriend! I really had so much fun shopping with you yesterday at Bugis Street and it was so cool that we both liked the same dress and bought them together in different colours! It was so nice to just have some good quality girl talk session where we can just talk about anything under the sun!

Today I attended yet another wedding mass in church as my church choir was invited to sing for today’s wedding. To me, weddings are one of the most important events in one’s life, as well as a really beautiful event. The bride today looked so radiant in her gorgeous wedding gown, which was a simple white tube gown with a long train, and she had a purple ribbon tied around the middle of her gown and it just flowed down elegantly with the train of her gown. Her gown was just so pretty. It was obvious that the couple were so very much in love that they could commit themselves to each other and intertwine their lives together and be united as one. It was truly a touching event for me and witnessing and partaking in yet another wedding mass today just makes me look forward to my own. ( which won’t be so soon la!! ) But yea, I already have in mind what I would want my ideal wedding to be like. Haha. The theme will definitely be pink cos it’s my favourite colour!

2008-07-24T09:02:00.001+08:00

In the blink of an eye, 3 months’ worth of holidays are going to come to an end and time just seems to have flew really fast. A new semester is going to start, and already I have to come to terms with the fact that I am no longer a freshman, and that I am actually going to be a senior, and hence, I cannot afford to be clueless about how the school systems work etc. It’s really quite a scary situation because I used to depend on my seniors and now people are going to depend on me. Arrgghh. Well, orientation’s going to start soon, and all I can say is that I’d rather be more active in my CCA stuff than in my faculty stuff. I prefer the people, the culture and the environment in my CCA. Which I will not elaborate here.

My holidays have been fantastic, filled with camps, revising as much German as I can, doing things OTOT and most importantly, meeting up with close friends. It’s a really nice and warm feeling that whenever I meet up with my close friends, we can just pick off from where we stopped from the previous meet up and there’s no awkwardness at all. I am also really glad that most of my friends also make the effort to keep in touch with me whenever it’s been awhile since we last saw each other. Well, I am just a little worried about the meet up with the guy I term the special friend among all my guy friends. It’s been so long since we last sat down and really talked, and he’s also pretty quiet, I just hope that this Friday’s meet up with him will not be awkward.

I received yet another belated birthday present from Shubha yesterday, and it was a really pink and girly present and what’s more lovely was the heartwarming letter that came with it. I’ll insert an excerpt of the letter here because it really moved me a lot.

“You’re such an amazing person, Michelle that everytime you tell me about all your guy problems, I’m so confused because I don’t understand how any idiot can take you for granted. Seriously Michelle, you’re great, you deserve somebody equally special! So don’t ever think that you’re the one, who’s good enough for the person, it’s that guy who should be good enough for you okay?”

And well, I think the wounds have not been fully healed, Bonnie was right, it’ll take a long time before the hurt gets healed. Sometimes I’ll get reminded of certain stuff and it’ll just make me feel really down. Like I was listening to my MP3 and “Built to Last” by Melee just played and I felt really upset and couldn’t sleep after that. I guess it’s because that song was something that I had hoped for and something that was so apt at that time. Oh well, all I can do now is to just look forward and not back.

I can already feel the drift with one of my friends, H. He’s been so enthusiastic and has just thrown himself into all the university stuff like orientation and I am really happy for him that he’s going to start school again and no longer has to do NS etc, but at the same time, I sense that he’s not going to be able to be there for me all the time, and also that his newly made friends will take priorities and sadly, maybe my place and it just bothers me. Like how we seldom talk already and he doesn’t have the time to meet up with me. It’s really quite sad la. SIGH.

And during one of the preparation camps that I attended, I met this guy called G whose behaviour just totally put me off. To G, you don’t have to keep sticking to us girls, and you’re a little too close for comfort. And for goodness sake, you’re attached! So please don’t be desperate for the girls’ attention cos your girlfriend should be giving you enough. It’s such a big PUT OFF that you keep trying to gain attention and do things just to see our reactions.

And to you, M, yes, you did disturb me during the camp, I can’t believe that you would ask me such a question because it was just so inappropriate and it gave me another reason to not ever go out with you again. I really don’t think it was funny.

And to A, well a lot of people have told me that you talk too much and that they don’t understand how I seem pretty ok with you and all that. Well, recently, I have seen that for myself and I tell you, I am reaching my boiling point soon and trust me, you would not want me to blast at you. Conversations with you have been so draining and frustrating on my part. I mean, conversations between 2 people are a TWO-WAY thing and the whole conversation just cannot revolve around you. I mean, you can’t just keep yakking about yourself and when it’s my turn to talk, you just brush me off and continue talking about yourself? That is so freaking selfish and self absorbed. And you wonder why I don’t tell you anything, well it’s because I don’t have the chance to do that. Aiyo, please have a bit more EQ la.

And it also annoys me greatly and how some people just devote themselves so much to their other halves that they totally just brush most of their friends aside, and just prioritize their other halves over their close friends totally. Like not replying SMSes from friends, just spending so much of their time and money etc. And thus drifting from friends. Sigh. Just so annoying la.

2008-07-12T11:22:00.002+08:00

It's time to say bye to that for awhile. Reality just hit me really cruelly in the face yesterday when I was told that I have been too softhearted, and that though I want to be strong, I don't stick to what I say. So I am just going to let things be the way they are right now. Painful to do that, but it's the best for now. All the empty promises, the lack of sincerity and effort, just shows me what a sweet talker you can be. I am so not buying any of that anymore. Enough is enough.

I am so tempted to buy a correction tape for you, so that you can amend all the mistakes you have made. A.H.

2008-07-07T11:26:00.002+08:00

I am really upset and disappointed by the lack of sincerity and effort on your part. If you still viewed me as a close friend as you have always been saying, you know what you should have done, which is just to honour your word. That was really stooping quite lowly on your part, and I feel cheated and naive for thinking that things were ok and much better and that we could be as close as we were before but what happened on Sunday just put you in a very bad spotlight. All I can say is, nobody will treat their friends the way you have. Well done.

2008-07-07T11:08:00.002+08:00

Happy 20th Birthday to a guy who’s always full of surprises, unpredicatable and also really talkative – MARCUS!!

I hope that you were as surprised as we had hoped for, though it was not that difficult since you’re quite blur..

Lunch at Swensens, where I had to sneak pens to Kelvin to let him write the birthday card.. And then I had to distract Marcus and walk with him around Yamaha, the guy actually was serious about learning how to play the flute! YL and Kel snuck out to write his cards and luckily Marcus really believed that they were in the toilet..haha..

And then surprise with a birthday cake! Outside Yamaha.. Where Kel and YL distracted him with arcade games while I snuck away to buy the cake.

May all your wishes come true =)

Happy with the really fragile present and lovely card made by yours truly.

2008-06-21T11:20:00.007+08:00

I love my cousins alot! Yesterday was our cousins outing after a really long time and it was nice to see everyone again! Dominic has definitely grown, not just taller and slimmer but also more sociable and not so lost in his own world, and he has become more talkative too. Gabriel has grown taller again and definitely more sociable!

We had lunch at Seoul Garden. We guys and girls split into 2 tables..this is the guys' table which is so messy!

Di, Liz and me - pretty girls!

Di trying to beat eggs but too gently!

Here's a picture of Di peeling prawns and then distributing to us all as my brother looks on in amusement!

And a picture of our failed attempt to make a seafood omelette, all because we did not flip the egg earlier! If not I think it would have been really yummy!

A picture of the 6 of us!

And here's one of Dom, the boy looks like he's going camping with his bag and shoebag! So cute la!

And here's one of me and Di! Like the green background!

This is probably one of the most fun cousins outing and also the first time that we did not watch a movie since this was what we had always been doing! And Gab brought us all to Peninsula Plaza and we all shopped together for the first time, and I managed to get my skinny black jeans at a really good price, something I could not get in KL! Then we went off to Suntec, played some arcade games and me and Di stumbled upon this great Jewella neoprint machine where we had so much time to decorate, and not only that, they allowed each of us to send one neoprint shot each to our handphones by infrared! How cool is that!

All in all, a great cousins outing! =)

2008-06-21T01:13:00.013+08:00

I am finally home after spending 1 day and 1 night in Ipoh and 4 days and 3 nights in KL. I really missed alot of people, like my koala bear Alex, my mentee Sherm, besties Kel, Bo and Liv and my family...it's really great to be back home, especially when I have not been sleeping on my bed for the past 2 weeks cos of FOC and then cos of the Malaysia trip. It was really scary to see my email inbox bombarded with so many new emails! But mostly cos of Facebook. Thanks Charm for uploading all the photos and tagging us too! =)

And now I shall talk about my trip, starting from the time we boarded the bus to Ipoh till we got home =)

On the comfy seats of the Sri Maju Bus to Ipoh. Day Zero, 9.45pm, Saturday, 14 June. Destination = Ipoh!

Lunch on Sunday at some famous coffeeshop where we had yummy assam laksa and teh ping. This place definitely looks cleaner in the picture than the place itself man!

Shawn and Ser Kheng on the massage chairs at Ipoh Parade, taking a break after walking for a long time..Anyway Ipoh Parade's a really big shopping center where I think I could have bought more stuff if there was more time.

Ipoh- a beautiful place and a not so sleepy town, where the pace of life's really so much more relaxed compared to Singapore!

And then it was to Kuala Lumpur on Monday, 16 June. Jen Jong came to fetch me at night and it was great fun shopping with him, especially when he knows how to speak Canto and Malay and thus can help me with bargaining while I shop..It was great catching up with him, really missed him alot too..

And here's a shot of him driving at night! deep in thought...And dinner! Thanks for dinner treat!

And then this is Fu Jian fried kway teow! really yummy!And then on to Sky Bar at Traders Hotel where I had a French Martini and Jen had a beer!

And now on to Day 3 of our trip, onto some more fun on Weds! Did some archery at Sunway Pyramid with Shawn and it was really cheap, RM 17 for 36 arrows in total and we played for real long!
And onto a break- root beer floats at A&W! A pity Singapore does not have such outlets anymore..haa..

Then onto Secret Recipe where I had a yummy Chocolate and Strawbeery cake while Shawn had raspberry cheesecake! Definitely much cheaper than Singapore..
The new wing of Mid Valley Megamall..everything's just so ex la..

Yummy prata dinner! We had alot of food like roti tissue, I tried Roti Kaya and Garlic cheese naan for the very first time!

My dinner buddies...both twins look quite similar but it's easy to tell them apart! Then we all went to watch the Happening at KLCC and I managed to take this really beautiful nightshot of the Petronas Twin Towers!

And now onto Day Four of our trip - playtime at Genting Highland! We all took a package that only cost RM42, which covered a 2 way bus ride, cable car rides and entrance fees to both the indoor and outdoor theme parks at Genting! It was really value for money man..

And a lovely ride on the cable car on our way up to Genting Highland via the Genting Skyway! But unfortunately when we reached the outdoor theme park..it started to rain!! We also visited the casino there which was really big! But we were all not keen to spend our money there though..and my ID was not checked too!!

So we went to play at the indoor theme park for awhile..here's a picture of me and Shawn with our 3D glasses at the motion theater..something like Sentosa's 4D Magix Theater..but we watched some show called " Alice in Wonderland" that was so not scary and so anticlimatic! We also sat some "Zuo Bo" or should I say anticlimatic rides like "Pirate Train" and "Crazy Lab" that were not as scary as they looked!

One of my most favourite shots, a picture of me bundled up in Jen's jacket (thanks for the sacrifice!) and him queuing up to sit the Spaceshot ride..which was quite scary for me since it was the first time I sat such a ride..I started screaming when we went up cos even though it was just like 12 storeys, I didn't realise that it was so high up and it was such a 10 second suspense before we dropped down and I really felt so weightless and powerless cos there was no control!!

Shawn and me on the pirate ship! And 2 other rides that I really enjoyed were the rollercoasters- Cyclone and Corkscrew as well as the swings!
And our threesome departing shot with the backdrop of the outdoor theme park!

And our really yummy dinner at night - the famous beef hor fun!!

All in all, it was an ok trip though I didn't enjoy myself as much as I thought I would, planning was quite unexpected, weather was unpredicatable..and I didn't like the chaperoning part as well as the group dymanics too..alot of things were promised..but we didn't get what we promised..sigh..And I shopped so little too!! Definitely have to shop more now that I am back in Singapore!

2008-06-14T11:51:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm..I think I definitely need more time to sort out my feelings regarding how I feel towards G..we've definitely been hanging out alot of late and I really enjoy your company..but maybe it's better to remain where we are right now, I don't want anyone to get hurt...

And with regards to W..sigh. I really feel like we've drifted alot already, things just feel different, and it seems like you don't see me as your close friend though you keep reinforcing that..you seem so self absorbed..every conversation that we have always seems to be about you and you don't seem to show any concern towards me... I don't know man...

And I think R and D are super super nice people whom I now have a crush on..haha..

2008-06-14T11:09:00.009+08:00

Wow. After 5 long months of intensive planning, sleepless nights, countless meetings, this year's NUS CSS FOC 2008 has finally come to an end. Thanks to Justin, Shimon, Germaine, Charlene, Mark, Brian, Nicholas, Jelene, Samantha, Cheryl, Michael, Alexandria and Kelvin for being a part of the FOC main comm, and for a job well done!! It has really been edifying working with you guys, and each of you have been a blessing to me =)

The camp was really good but unfortunately I didn't take any photos with my camera cos I was busy running about during the camp. I love my OG alot! SAMSON ROCK ON!! Each of you have touched me in one way or another and it has been great knowing you guys =)

Cleaning up for journey on a mission!

ready for war! on our way to West Coast for Games Finale!

My very messy Sheares Hall Room. Not too bad, I managed to sleep well during the camp.

And some photos to update on how my holidays have been =)

Meet up with Shub over Mac breakfast! missed her alot especially since the last time I saw her was my birthday!

Happy 22nd Birthday Shawn! It was SSSM's pleasure to have lunch with you on your birthday! The look of surprise on your face when SK and I presented you with your cake was priceless! =)

Friends Forever! =)

And our last outing with YS before he goes off for his journey of self discovery! YL is helping me to refill my drink without getting out of his seat since we were sitting right behind the drinks machine!! And we all watched Kungfu Panda together, it was a really great show.

I am off to Malaysia now for a holiday! Really looking forward to it! =)

2008-06-02T15:41:00.006+08:00

Ok, so my exam grades were not as ideal as I wanted them to be, but I guess I should be thankful that my CAP went up by a bit, I didn't fail any module and my worst grade is a B-. Could have been worse, I know. Yup, so my grades are a total of 3Bs, 1B+ and 1B-.

The week's been quite crazy, especially since FOC is drawing so near and there's so many things that need to be done. I am thankful that God has managed to pull our main comm through everything that has come our way and to affirm us on everything that we have done. Anyway, I just hope that our camp will go smoothly! Yup.

I havent been sleeping well the past few days, hence I have been quite tired. Maybe it's cos my days are packed with tuition, church stuff, FOC planning and catching up with friends.

Yup, it's been quite hard to keep a balance on everything and I feel quite bad that I have not been able to spend as much time as I should with my friends. So every moment that I have with them is quite precious!!

With the every lovely Tai-tais, a quick catch up dinner!! Love the girly girls and chit chat sessions!

And with my bestie, Livia, a very nice buffet dinner catch up session! It's nice having someone whom you can share anything and everything with, and not be worried about anything!

With the crazy and bubbly fellow Wee, Sheryl! Nice that we can tell each other stuff that we find hard to tell other people and that we can still remain so close despite not taking German anymore! Thanks for the birthday present too! =)

And with my xiaomei, happy 19th birthday dear! You will always be my steamboat/long buffet buddy!

And I think that I have been too sensitive towards a certain someone, I am truly sorry but yea, hope that things will get better with time to come, and hope that we'll continue to be close friends. Sorry for not appreciating the little stuff that you've done, I think I have really overlooked them at times.

HMMMM...I am supposed to blog about my weird daydreams, will do them for the next entry!

2008-05-26T02:48:00.001+08:00

It’s been quite some time since I last updated my blog, gosh I am almost as bad as Brandon huh!

Well, my 20th birthday this year was quite memorable, there were quite a number of celebrations with close friends, and it was also the first time that I celebrated my birthday with my newly made NUS friends as well as church friends. And with my 20th birthday, I think I learnt many LIFE lessons, which includes learning how to deal with hurt and learning to be more matured and responsible as well as how to let go.

Thanks to my darling Bonnie, the tai-tais Viv, XT and Den, my fav soccer guy, Dill, the JC clique – YS, YL , Marcus, especially to bestie Kel, my xiao mei Sam, my fav german buddy, Sheryl, my fav UOB girl WR, the NUS CSS Science people, my sisters AM and Mari, my parents for all the birthday presents and cards! And to Sean and Jen and Yawen for your heartwarming birthday cards! And to everyone who has wished me happy birthday too! And to the church clique- Sean and Brand and Alex for the dinner treat!

It’s funny how in the midst of drifting apart from some friends, you grow closer to others? I really cherish all my friends right now, especially those who make the effort to keep in touch with me, who have always been there for me, especially during the hard times. Yup. Anyway, I am having mixed feelings towards certain people and only time will tell how I truly feel towards them but yea, I am happy and blessed =) And I will make my decision with a rational mind and heart.

It’s been really crazy for me ever since exams ended! I’ve been busy with FOC planning and there’s really quite a lot of preparation work to do, thus the numerous meetings. And I am truly blessed to have 12 other wonderful people to work with in the planning of this camp. I still remember that when I first started out, I was quite blur and not so confident in heading the main committee with Justin but now it’s so much better, and our comm has also bonded more especially with the sleepover at Magic’s place! Yup, thanks again to Magic for opening up your house to allow us to have our crazy 9pm-4am overnight meeting again! And also the flaming session that we had was great, a lot of secrets were unveiled.

And I had really great phone conversations with Cheryl, it was nice knowing that someone was going through the same thing as me, and it was easy to empathize with her too. And through the sharing of our faith journeys as well as our thoughts about FOC, I just felt closer to her. And to the one and only butter di! I am glad that we’ve become closer recently, and I think with God’s grace, we have both been a blessing to each other. Thanks for being my LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE!! And to Sean, it’s great that we got to hang out more recently, I feel closer to you and somehow I feel like you’re a childhood friends of mine, playing PS2 games together, poking each other and teasing each other, yea, I truly enjoy your company a lot =) And to WR and Sheryl, thanks for making the effort to meet up with me, and so sorry for the dao messages! Yup, Sheryl dear, I really enjoyed our girl talk and it was such a feel good dinner for me, being able to tell you stuff that I think is hard to tell other people and vice versa, whoa man! And WR!! I can’t believe that we talked to each other for 4 hours straight! And we were both so reluctant to say bye to each other after our meet up. But yea, it brings back so many fond memories of the UOB days that we had and I really enjoyed our girl talk too. I really missed you, WR and Sheryl! Haha, looking forward to our next meet ups!

H is back. I am really really happy. And Kel is coming back from Taiwan soon!! Yay, I missed him a lot too.

2008-05-07T01:56:00.003+08:00

The end of horrors, ie EXAMS! have ended so just bring on the holidays man!!

I've finally managed to throw away some stuff that I previously did not have the heart to do so. It's all pointless now.

And I've also seen the ugly side of someone that I've never seen before and it's just so hurting and upsetting..

All I can say is, to me, I think it's really important to truly mean whatever you say, and if you can't fufill a promise, then don't say it at all man. And if you're truly sincere, your actions will really reflect that. And I also believe that it's important not to be self absorbed and so selfish and to also treat others with dignity and respect.

I am happy with the way I've been dealing with things.

2008-04-16T19:29:00.003+08:00

Sometimes in life, you have to make really tough decisions. And you have to do things that you don't want to do but you know that it's the best thing to make so you go ahead and do it. And when you feel that it's hard to move on, it's hard to make that decision, it's friends that stick by you, friends that will always be there for you to give you the strength that you need. Through this week, my friends have really been there for me and I am truly thankful and blessed. I know that no matter what happens, I'll always have this group of people to love and fall back on. Special thanks to the bestie = bonnie for calling me all the way from uk and talking to me for 2 hours. Your voice was really a soothing balm to me and I felt so much better after talking to you. And to Huiyang, a really good friend who slapped reality in my face and told me things as they are.

Im turning 20 in 2 days! Well, the past year's worth of experiences have really been WOWed and with everything that has happened, I have learned and grown alot. Probably still very child like and naive in my thinking, but I've learned to be more independent. and to make adult decisions too. Hope I'll be more matured man! 1 more year to full liberation!

Thanks for the beautiful memories. I'll always keep them close to my heart, and they will always be a part of me. In spite of all that has happened, I know that there will be other chances in the future and I look to the future with a lot of hope because there are just so many things to be eager and excited about.

2008-04-16T19:01:00.006+08:00

Keeping myself busy and occupied helps to numb the pain alot. Anyway, some pics to describe my week.

My hand made birthday card to my sis who's turning 31 soon!

My birthday celebration with the SPP clique at Fish and Co Glasshouse! It was quite memorable cos I got saboed by Sean to stand on my chair as the crew sang me a Happy Birthday song. It was pretty embarrassing! Then Alex tried to smash cake in my face and ended up smashing it in my dress. Arrgh.

The remainder of my birthday present part 1 from Ser Kheng! A really big party package of bread stuff from Coffee Bean! YUMMY!! But Im going to have to stay off cheese for awhile!

A fellow April baby! Happy 22nd birthday SK!! With the pig and handmade birthday card from me =)

At mind cafe with 2 of my favourite guys friends forever! awesome birthday celebration though we missed sarah alot!!

With the all guys JC clique! Really funny man. this group of people. Marcus and gang treated me dinner at Swensens and Kelvin gave me a really sweet birthday present =)

The funniest and most memorable birthday cake I've ever received courtesy of the JC clique! Kelvin could not buy a whole cake so he ordered 5 individual slices. And everyone could take their pick and best thing is= they are all disposable! And with candles but no lighters. Only Kelvin can come up with such a funny but brillant idea. Haha.

At Timbre= my very 1st birthday celebration with the Science people and some Exco CSS people. Kerna saboed on stage along with Bella to dance with the Good Fella people! So embarrassing can!

This year's birthday celebration feels like another CNY!! It's been awesome and I look forward to turning 20 this Friday =) More celebrations up ahead! =)

2008-04-05T17:24:00.003+08:00

Well today was quite a tiring day for me! Started off the day by waking up at 610am so that I could meet my bestie Kelvin for breakfast at macs at 7am at Tiong Bahru! Thanks for listening out to me, my dear bestie..Felt better saying alot of things off my chest..It helped me to understand better too..Then it was badminton at 9am at Henderson CC and Yushu and Kel helped me to improve my hitting techniques..which was to hit lower!! Then I rushed home to bake Ser Kheng's present..Which was supposed to be brownie bars(they're supposed to be hard!) but then it came out as a soft crumbly choc chip cake..I felt really shitty cos all my effort went to naught..And I followed the recipe so closely! And what did I do wrongly?? Greasing the bake pan with butter instead of oil and not using tracing paper...RAA..But at least the cake's nice...

Here's the cake in the oven..This got my expectations up cos it looked like it was going to be a success!!

Attempting to cut the cake was a nightmare..I took 1 hour just to cut it and then to pack it into a container for Ser Kheng..

The entire cake stuck to the baking pan..This is how bad it turned out...

And then a package from Britain came to cheer me up! Thanks so much bestie for the birthday present in advance! It really helped me to feel less shitty and tired.. Totally didn't expect you to mail me my present..

And thanks to Ser Kheng for coming down to Braddell MRT from his home to collect the cake from me so that he could eat it when it's really fresh and then going back home! And thanks for the appreciation too! It's a nice and warm feeling knowing that you like the stuff I bake! =)

2008-03-31T10:37:00.002+08:00

I am going to turn 20 soon! Quite excited cos it means another year closer to more freedom! Anyway, the week's been pretty all right. I had fun with my SSSM gang at Mind Cafe and we played and laughed so much! Thanks Shawn and Sarah and Ser Kheng for a great time. Then over the weekend I met up with my dearest bestie, Kel! Had some catching up to do and then Marcus and co came to join us. We watched " An Empress and the Warriors" which I thought was not bad, just that the ending was a bit sad.

Funny things that happened during our outing= I really cannot break at pool! And I just can't hit with enough force. And then at Cathay cine, we were all walking out and I was trying to push the door open but it rebounded..Yushu pointed it out..Haa..feel so paisei now!!

2008-03-24T15:27:00.002+08:00

I know that we can never be close. I'll never be able to tell you guys anything and it's just so hard to open up and to share my life with you. It's just weird. Which is why you guys will always be the last to know about whatever happens in my life. The trust is just not there. I hate big mouths. I hate to be restricted. The more you restrict me, the more I'll rebel against you.

I'll always be closer to my friends, and likewise, enjoy their company more. After what happened on Sunday, it made me realise why I don't like to hang out with you guys and that whatever I do, you'll never be able to understand or be satisfied. Thus you will not see much of me when I am free.

2008-03-18T22:06:00.008+08:00

I hate it when people inconvenience others for the sake of their own convenience. The bitch did it twice to me already, and I was really super pissed about it. Not wanting to turn off the music from the computer so that I can just study for one hour and thus me having to wake up at 6am to finish my studying on Monday just showed me how selfish she was. And today when I got home, the bitch also just got home and demanded to bathe first. WTH. Thanks for ruining my mood. Especially when Im not in the best of moods today.

And other moments that irritated me quite a bit:

1. Smelly mickey mouses! They just have a really weird body smell. Which is worse when they are sweaty after sports. And why do they just not shave their underarms? It's so unsightly to see hairs sticking out of a girl's tee, which shows how long the hairs are. I can't believe that it's normal not to do so.

2. Not knowing the meaning of queues. While queuing at the bus stop to take 95 down to the NUS Open House, the prospective students were already standing in one nice long line when this group of loud talking aunties just pushed their way to the front of the queue and cut! WTH.

3. Please express your view with regards to Sinapore's education system to the government and not during a QNA session. An idiot did that during the Law Open House and in the midst of airing his grievances, wasted everyone else's time. Nutcase.

Luckily there were a few funny incidents that happened during the past few weeks too.

1. Me and Kel realised that both our crushes' first names started with the same letter. For him it was AA and for me it was LL! LOL.

2. Jem and Frankie and I were talking during Prob lecture and Frankie made a comment, " I love my sister so I'll do anything for her! " which led Jem to comment, " That's incensual man!" And blur me said, " oh that's incense right?" which stunned two of them and led to lotsa laughter after that. It's incest man!

3. While in church, Shermaine got out of her dad's car and when I saw her, I called out excitedly, " Hey bimbo!" and not seeing a string tied between 2 cones in front of her, she almost tripped and proved why she got that nickname from me.

4. How in the world does my stats tutor know my name? She came over to check my homework and addressing me by my name, asked if I could do all the questions. And I realised that the attendance list was not with me and that my name was not written on my homewoek..HMMM.

5. Francesca's funny guy stories. It's so funny, that I find it hard to believe that someone actually behaved that way.

And the smiles that came this week!

It's cool how me and Kel have bestie telepathy! Like there was this once, we both messaged each other good morning messages at the same time and we each thought that we were replying each other's messages when we were not! And I was in a foul mood while going home one of the days last week and Kel just called me and cheered me up. Love ya bestie! =)

Yawen! The ice-cream and romance movies and chocolates buddy! Love you loads girl! Thanks for being such a great friend to me and for always being there for me.

Dillon! You're a really special friend to me! It was so nice of you to meet me when you're super tired and to surprise me by driving that day! Yup, it was so nostalgic to drive around NJC and visit our old haunts. And you're the first friend to drive me around after getting your license! Uber cool! =)

Thanks yang, for the lunch and tea treat! Looking forward to our next pigging out session! =)

2008-03-02T01:40:00.006+08:00

And some photos to sum up how the 2 weeks have been!

Nice coffee chat with Vivien! I'll need more caffeine when mid terms start!

Awesome birthday lunch and girl talk with Viv!

Happy 22nd Birthday, dear Jen Jong! It was a nice Sakae dinner, and lotsa walking and talking with you and Yawen and dessert at Gelare's =)

Thanks to my mummy at work, Duriz for a lovely dinner and 4 lovely dresses and to Steph for drinks and for Regina for being the camera woman on Friday! =)

2008-03-02T01:17:00.007+08:00

It's been a really long time since I last blogged..haa..

Anyway, this year's Vday was really quite good for me, it was a celebration of love and friendship and it made me realise how many close friends I had around me who genuinely cared for me and who are always there for me..here goes the thank you speech!

Sheryl! for the lovely chocolate package!
Vivien! for the awesome package and girly items!
Wang Rong! for yummy Fererro chocs!
Sarah! for the kinky guy and girl hooks!
Ser Kheng! for the hand wrapped rose and special message!
Shawn! for the super pretty pink rose and candy package!
Jen Jong! for the rose that will never wilt and makes a great desk deco item!
Yawen! for the touching letter and drawing and yummy brownie!
Alex! for the awesome thoughful package and teddy bear!
Kelvin for giving me the best Vday present = a surprise appearance of Sam!

I was quite burned out after heading a rally in Feb..and I lost the passion for alot of things.. I didn’t want to study, I just felt so tired and drained and stressed out by everything and that affected someone who was very dear to me. But I am happy to say that I am in a much better shape and that this whole experience has really made me stronger =)

Letting go of certain responsibilites helped alot. And during this difficult period, something also happened as I found out something and it just threw me off my feet and really made me so confused and bothered. But I am glad that it happened cos it made me reflect and think about alot of things.

Being away from certain things and people also gave me the time that I needed to just be by myself, and I learned to be more self-dependent. I was definitely more relaxed, and I took my time to do things too. I could just breathe!! This time also helped me to be stronger and it was really a learning point for me.

And it made me realize that in life, no matter what happens,I'll just have to move on. And it was quite ok trying to get over stuff! Cos I was never alone throughout the whole week and I had friends all around me to support me and encourage me and just be there for me. Im really thankful for them and vowed never to take them for granted too.

Oh I’ve decided that I’ll study as hard as I need to, and that what must be done, I’ll get them done but you won’t see me pia-ing as hard as I used to in the past..no point la..I’ll rather relax and enjoy life..And it’s ok if I don’t get all the As that I used to want to get, cos at the end of the day, I am still going to get a degree and honours..wow that’s definitely a dream man..with all the competition around cos of the plague, it’s definitely going to be really hard to get honours but I’ll just do my best and not worry so much.

I've also learned not to take things for granted and to be thankful for all the countless blessings that have been showered on me. And I vow not to be so self-absorbed and to be less demanding and unreasonable and more sensitive and considerate towards others. And also to be more care-free and care more about the stuff that matters most.

Someone said I was much nicer and that it was weird and that it needed some getting used to! hmmmm... I am striving towards continuous perfection ma.

2008-02-25T15:13:00.003+08:00

girls just wanna have fun...

2008-02-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

BESTEST FRIEND ! dedicated to Bonnie

When I cry you help me out

When I'm happy you hear me shout

When I grin you know I'm really mad

because you are my best friend

You can tell when I'm sad

You're there in thick and thin

You're my best friend

You hear me out when I want to talk

You help me out when I get mad

You are the bestest friend I've ever had

So hear me out when I say

You're the light in my day

You are the moon in my night

You shine very bright

You are the bestest friend I have

and I miss you loads right now!

I'll love you always!!

2008-02-11T09:21:00.000+08:00

The few things you should know about me:
1. I love pink, and that's pretty obvious.
2. I hate waiting, who doesn't?
3. I hate it when people make promises that they can't keep.
4. I have short term memory and Im really blur.
5. I can be quite spoilt.
6. If Im having a really bad day, don't make it any worse. Especially when it's at my own expense.
7. I hate it when people don't reply my smses, or don't answer my calls. I mean, if you're busy, just drop me a sms? Will it kill you to do that?

And during the Bangkok trip overseas, I thought that I'll be able to get away from them cos I've seen enough of those people in school and around town etc. Their actions, the way they speak, gosh it's so annoying. I guess that the Plague has spread to everywhere, according to Jeremy.

Things that irritated me during the trip:
1. People who don't know how to queue
2. People who don't know how to flush toilets
3. People who take way too much food at buffets
4. Shopkeepers who don't attend to their customers and continue to yak away on their handphones
5. People who act so low class, you wonder why they can behave in such a manner

2008-01-28T14:49:00.000+08:00

All right, another quick update from me.

I think that I complain alot, in general. Thanks to the people who TAHAN my complaints and for being so patient with me and sorry to those whom I've hurt or let down cos of this too.

Reality hits me today, ie uni life's not as easy going as it's made out to be cos tutorials have started!! RAA. Anyway, I had a really good weekend.

Friday was spent with him and we watched the mist, quite a good movie but sucky ending. And then I kinda spoilt the mood a little..

Saturday was some quality talk time with Vivien and we both agreed that it was nice spending some time with each other every weekend in Jan and we felt like we got to know each other better and also felt closer as we shared more private aspects of our lives together. Yea viv, really love you loads girl!! We must hang out more often ok!! And please don't be so shy when dealing with certain things!!!

Then it was meeting Den and Kirby for V Bash and we had an ok time at the Arena. Congrats to Kirby for winning the 11th price for the lucky draw! A cool pair of sunglasses!!

NUS people are so not happening la! The presidents of 2 units in Students' Union( which is supposed to be a fun group right??) were so not sporting! They got called to stage for some games and then 3 girls came onstage to do dirty dancing with them and eventually stripping them but all they did was jsut to stand onstage like rocks!! like WTH!!!!!

Everyone only started dancing when the house band came in. Music was really good and I had so much fun dancing with Viv. It had been almost half a year since the last time that I went clubbing and Sat's outing made me realise how much I missed it.

Then Sunday afternoon was spent with Adeline, nice catch up session over Subway lunch! And then with my most favourite person, my dearest Xiaomei, Sam!! I've really enjoyed the 2 rollerblading sessions that we had! Thanks for being so patient and encouraging to me! Love you loads!! You make an awesome blading partner, better than Kel too. haha.

2008-01-21T15:05:00.000+08:00

Someone always asks me this, " Are you happy? " and my response to that is always, " hmmm, with regards to what huh? " And then he'll go, " You know, everything " and my answer is, " Of course Im happy, especially when Im loved by people like you =) "

Im really blessed to be loved by so many people, and this weekend was really good for me. went to watch 27 dresses with Yawen, it's the 1st time that we went out together then Jen came to join us later for dinner and I truly enjoyed their company, especially since it's really hard to make friends in uni.

Then on Sunday, had some good sister time with Sam and then Shawn came to blade with us later and we had a really nice long steamboat dinner. (during which they kept saying that i was motherly etc). Really enjoyed the company, and it was nice seeing my sis and a close friend being able to talk comfortably. Thanks for your encouragement during skating, Sam! I really think that you make a FANTASTIC skating buddy!

As for the week that has just zoomed by so fast, everything was really good but things with someone ain't so good. Sorry for all the hurt caused, and aiyah, we really need to stop having misunderstandings and also to be more honest with each other. YUP.

2008-01-10T15:52:00.000+08:00

Here's a short dedication to Shawn, Sarah and Ser Kheng, my tightest circle of friends in NUS =) Thanks for being the wonderful friends that I can share almost anything with, without being put down or judged. Hope we'll always stay as friends. And as what Sarah said earlier, it's kinda funny how I was close to Shawn intitially, she close to Ser Kheng then eventually me and her became closer and Shawn and Ser Kheng became closer and then after Bintan, we just naturally formed our own clique. I do not feel uncomfortable sharing with you guys my fears,fantasies and I want to thank you three from the bottom of my heart for being a part of my life =) though seasons may change, my love for you all and deep cherishment of this friendship will never change =) Looking forward to more happy times together!

And just a pondering thought though I doubt you'll ever read this. I guess things between us could have gotten heated up even more since we had the chemistry to begin with and there was a certain degree of connection, being able to talk so freely and happily though we didn't know each other so well then. But we were both kinda in the same boat and just found it hard to move on, so nothing developed futher though I think we could have liked each other. OH WELL. What's meant to be will be, I guess.