Thursday, July 24, 2008, 9:02 AM
In the blink of an eye, 3 months’ worth of holidays are going to come to an end and time just seems to have flew really fast. A new semester is going to start, and already I have to come to terms with the fact that I am no longer a freshman, and that I am actually going to be a senior, and hence, I cannot afford to be clueless about how the school systems work etc. It’s really quite a scary situation because I used to depend on my seniors and now people are going to depend on me. Arrgghh. Well, orientation’s going to start soon, and all I can say is that I’d rather be more active in my CCA stuff than in my faculty stuff. I prefer the people, the culture and the environment in my CCA. Which I will not elaborate here.
My holidays have been fantastic, filled with camps, revising as much German as I can, doing things OTOT and most importantly, meeting up with close friends. It’s a really nice and warm feeling that whenever I meet up with my close friends, we can just pick off from where we stopped from the previous meet up and there’s no awkwardness at all. I am also really glad that most of my friends also make the effort to keep in touch with me whenever it’s been awhile since we last saw each other. Well, I am just a little worried about the meet up with the guy I term the special friend among all my guy friends. It’s been so long since we last sat down and really talked, and he’s also pretty quiet, I just hope that this Friday’s meet up with him will not be awkward.
I received yet another belated birthday present from Shubha yesterday, and it was a really pink and girly present and what’s more lovely was the heartwarming letter that came with it. I’ll insert an excerpt of the letter here because it really moved me a lot.
“You’re such an amazing person, Michelle that everytime you tell me about all your guy problems, I’m so confused because I don’t understand how any idiot can take you for granted. Seriously Michelle, you’re great, you deserve somebody equally special! So don’t ever think that you’re the one, who’s good enough for the person, it’s that guy who should be good enough for you okay?”
And well, I think the wounds have not been fully healed, Bonnie was right, it’ll take a long time before the hurt gets healed. Sometimes I’ll get reminded of certain stuff and it’ll just make me feel really down. Like I was listening to my MP3 and “Built to Last” by Melee just played and I felt really upset and couldn’t sleep after that. I guess it’s because that song was something that I had hoped for and something that was so apt at that time. Oh well, all I can do now is to just look forward and not back.
I can already feel the drift with one of my friends, H. He’s been so enthusiastic and has just thrown himself into all the university stuff like orientation and I am really happy for him that he’s going to start school again and no longer has to do NS etc, but at the same time, I sense that he’s not going to be able to be there for me all the time, and also that his newly made friends will take priorities and sadly, maybe my place and it just bothers me. Like how we seldom talk already and he doesn’t have the time to meet up with me. It’s really quite sad la. SIGH.
And during one of the preparation camps that I attended, I met this guy called G whose behaviour just totally put me off. To G, you don’t have to keep sticking to us girls, and you’re a little too close for comfort. And for goodness sake, you’re attached! So please don’t be desperate for the girls’ attention cos your girlfriend should be giving you enough. It’s such a big PUT OFF that you keep trying to gain attention and do things just to see our reactions.
And to you, M, yes, you did disturb me during the camp, I can’t believe that you would ask me such a question because it was just so inappropriate and it gave me another reason to not ever go out with you again. I really don’t think it was funny.
And to A, well a lot of people have told me that you talk too much and that they don’t understand how I seem pretty ok with you and all that. Well, recently, I have seen that for myself and I tell you, I am reaching my boiling point soon and trust me, you would not want me to blast at you. Conversations with you have been so draining and frustrating on my part. I mean, conversations between 2 people are a TWO-WAY thing and the whole conversation just cannot revolve around you. I mean, you can’t just keep yakking about yourself and when it’s my turn to talk, you just brush me off and continue talking about yourself? That is so freaking selfish and self absorbed. And you wonder why I don’t tell you anything, well it’s because I don’t have the chance to do that. Aiyo, please have a bit more EQ la.
And it also annoys me greatly and how some people just devote themselves so much to their other halves that they totally just brush most of their friends aside, and just prioritize their other halves over their close friends totally. Like not replying SMSes from friends, just spending so much of their time and money etc. And thus drifting from friends. Sigh. Just so annoying la.
